A very quick Melbourne wrap up

I wont bother saying I'll add to this later, because all signs say I might not actually do that - given my past blogs.

Things I should talk about if I get the chance are the Disney exhibition, the Bill Viola - Raft, the Melbourne Gallery, the shite but amusing Shakespeare in the Botans, the frisbee times in the botans, 'The King's Speech,' between me and Angus - ruining the internet at my Aunts, amusing fights between my ma and her sis.

But for now, I will just say, I trundled around a very cold, wintery Melbourne on the 2nd day we were here, and went to the ACMI (Australian Center for Moving Images) and experienced the Walt Disney exhibition which I was dubious about - only really went because I was a bit bored, and I tell you, it brought memories of my childhood back - and I've realized that The Little Mermaid, Cinderella, The Lion King and Beauty and the Beast taught me how to dream and has directly affected the way I think about Romance - like big, epic romance - and how that comes into my work. Today I found myself listening to hiphop and writing this:

The storm it brews. An ocean of dreams tumbling like a drunk man after a night on the bottles on the ice. I was there once. Arse in the sand, head in the air.

But I remember those days with the candor of someone who was once attractive, once slim, once fiercely intelligent. In a lot of ways his love ruined me. I pined for him. So when he was away, I would hide away by being out there, at the pub with the girls with the travellers, excusing my behaviour because I knew that 20% of the year I would be myself again.

I would be the pretty innocent he met on a trip to the mainland. He moved here for me, but in doing so, made me more lonely than I even could imagine. He came, he loved and he disappeared. I long for him now like a drug addict high on something and coming down but wanting more. Not that I would know about that.

That says a lot about the whimsy I encourage in my life and in my theatre. Sort of over dramatic, but with true heart. I've been wondering lately what my flavour is. And yes, comedy is a huge part of what I do. And what I have written about before - purpose, form and relationship - but it's also very much about what brings people together and what tears them apart.

I'm starting to find excitement in the work Emma and I are embarking on now because of that.

Our whole piece has got that running through it's blood. And that old analogy of how you build theatre like a body: bones, muscle and blood. Well we've got the bones and the blood - we just need to build some strong as muscle - it really makes me feel better about the whole thing - the short amount of time gives me serious anxiety.

Ok, so after getting excited about the fables and foibles of Walt Dis, I wombled out and went into the Bill Viola (see below) exhib 'The Raft' a video art piece which is both shocking, moving and presumptuous all once - the premise is almost a catalyst for a modern day's Noah's Ark that fails because of present day human's inability to connect. That didn't explain anything did it? Well, basically, these people enter the space, like they are waiting for a bus, once they are all there - and most of them aren't communicating - this high pressure water hoons at them from either side. Like truly hoons. My first instinct was ok, You're making a point. And then when the granny went down and no one helped her... Well, I was quite overcome. Some people by the time it stopped and the true panic it invoked in the participants and the onlookers (me) stopped, there was a sense of community by the sheer fact that a catastrophic event bandied them together.

I have to stop writing shortly because we're about to be called into the plane. But the rest of that day was spent with Adam, walking around - we bought a frisbee, got some wine and went and hooned it around the park. It was tres fun. A man got attacked hardcore by a swan. We also found this thing we titled a SWUCK - half swan, half duck. Truly interesting day. Yars...

More as when. When is right! xoxo

www.billviola.com

photos from Chappie Lifetimes

Soph Winning
Martyn and Sam
Gals getting ready
Babes

Just wanted to pop these on to explain my life and times...

'Ello darling

So, it's been a couple of months since I ventured into McGill-does-the-world. Which, more and more I hate the title of. Epitome of me at my cheesiness, which maybe is a good thing, who knows.

I am in Melbourne. Another country. So like Wellington, the weather is temperamental at best. I'm sitting in my Aunty Nicole's dining room, having my 2nd coffee of the day and listening to Ladyhawke's 'Delirium.'

I've chosen to write because I've just finished a show, and about to embark on a new one, and I think it's the perfect opportunity while I've got room to breathe to reflect and generate and keep my education alive. Because, that's the only way that someone like me gets any better. As much as it irritates me in some ways, I suspect I will be one of those actresses who blooms later in life. My gritty roles and successes may well come a bit later. At this time, I have to do all I can to work towards that time and enjoy life. Not get worried about things.

I got offered the first audition I've had for screen in over 6 months. It was for a TV series for toddlers - 'Giggles.' When I watched the tapes of the previous seasons, my first thought was 'This is the antithesis of what I've been taught for screen acting" and my second was "do I want to be cast in a kids show" Now - these seem like nego thoughts but I was thinking about what the learning would be in it. I turned up there with some wings, and a wand. Walked into the Gibson Group offices, party decorations up for their xmas party, and nerves washed over me

and I remembered back to when I auditioned for drama school the first time and my Mum (thankfully in the end) intervened and I wasn't featured in the GG doco. There's been a part of me that has always wondered whether that has affected whether I get auditions or not. Anyway, I was sitting there, a lovely smiley woman said they'd be a few more minutes to set up. So I sat there, got out my diary and wrote down what I needed to do to do a good audition. And then in my brain popped Sophie Roberts' voice. Thank God.

See, I was cast in 'Christ Almighty' - A fundraiser for BATS. Sophie cast me as the Angel Gabrielle - 2nd monologue in. Has a fight with her boyfriend 'God'

I had many an idea for this - playing her as all the Oscar Winners I could think of (would've been interesting) - having her as a South Afrikaan Footballers Wife - and... A Frida Kahlo-esq/Penelope Cruz Spaniard.

The latter was the one decided on. We were asked to learn lines before rehearsals started. I barely made a dent in them for my first one. I was furious with myself. Because, it slows one down, it doesn't help matters progress and I was working with Soph - a friend - but also an artist I really respect. She wasn't angry or nothing. It was a personal standards thing.

So the next couple of rehearsals, I progressed. I worked on building the character up. And I don't know why this happens. But I feel like every time I've got a new project, it takes me a couple of weeks to remember that I really enjoy the work on the story, the character, the given circumstances, the text meth, the embodying. And in this instance, I was nervous about being strong in my physicality which - to begin with - made me really sad. Because in Steamboat, doing a little unpaid community theatre, I was not afraid to make bold choices, and I knew I did a fantastic job with Beatrice, Winifred and Ethel. I was exceptionally confident.

Soph and I talked a little about it, and my final rehearsal with her before our dress, I was owning the stage. Martyn came in and watched and I just had fun and stayed in that long neck, strong torso, strutty physical offer that is reminiscent of my flamenco days.

I went away feeling quite good. The next step was the Chapman Tripp Theatre Awards, and boy, was that week Hellish! I was up to my eyeballs in admin for it. We got to the day, ran around for a bit, I was in charge mainly of looking after the presenters, sitting in the front row and handing out envelopes with the winners in them. Thank sweet biscuits I was not inebriated. I was actually strangely nervous. SO much work had gone into it. But it was great, there were a couple of tooo long speeches. But other than that Peter Hambleton gave a stupendously moving speech, crediting his ma and late father for his work and the support of his whanau making him the artist he is. Then when Soph won, I was so very very proud. She gave a speech that was all her but very clear, succinct and funny. I got a shoutout! 'Angelmine. Help me Rhonda'

Finally, I could breathe a bit when the awards wrapped up (after a bloody stupid offer of soph and I having to sing in the finale. Fail) And we collectively thought the Museum Hotel Chef was a total babe. Mmmm French men...! I digress. Anyway, we had the Ruth Pretty meal. Average at best. And then really got on the turps/dance floor action. After ripping it up to Smokey Feel, we headed over to the Garden Bar/ Club Ivy and ripped it up over there, flirting with everyone, had a joyous time; catching up with, ignoring, wooing people - just generally fun> I have splashes of talking to the Wrays, dirty dancing with Paul Waggott, mimicking Lady Gaga with Jess Sanderson, having glamourous smoking area times with La Roberts and Sam, getting new friends to buy me drinks. You know, generally owning the area! At some ridiculous hour, I had a pashfest with a childhood friend who wanted me to go with home with him. Thank goodness i didn't follow through. Awkkkkward. Especially considering I often work with one of his parents... Fail. Epic fail.

Anyway, I made my way back to the hotel, to find Soph, Branwen and a couple of Musos drinking the minibar dry. Ahhh! I refused to pay for it. I think, however, I have. Punch.

At about 7am we all leapt over the road, to the beautiful xmas tree Rob McHotty Larsen design and jumped on the beanbags. As Sophie leapt into the fold, we heard a squelch, a squeal -upon removing said beanbag, there was a homeless man beneath sleeping.

So, we had a virtually no sleep. The next day was spent watching dvds at the Hambleton's - and the next day (getting to the point, finally) was my opening night of 'Christ Almighty' and I felt wretched. Very ill, with an incredibly sore neck. We had a dress rehearsal and I felt shocker. I said to Soph as much, I needed to preserve energy. Which was fine, but I got in front of my cast for the run and it. was. shit. I mean, truly appalling. I was under-energized - ok, knew that would happen, - but I was terrified. I mean, I was not standing behind any of my choices. It was the strange sensation of feeling kind of numb on stage. Sophie gave me a rark up. And these words will stay with me for some time I believe. 'You have to come out with the energy of someone who doesn't give a fuck what anyone thinks. You have to find where ever your confidence lies and bring that energy on stage from beginning to end' So.... That's it actually. That's the key beneath me doing a strong performance and a mediocre one. Not apologizing for my work. And I tell you what, I succeeded. Every night, I gave myself a new focus, and I enjoyed the freedom of enjoying the stage, the space, the connection with the audience. The challenge if the Innkeeper didn't quite get the audience understanding the contract between us and them, to do that job as well as my own. And you know, there were people that LOVED it and people that were indifferent but that's OK. I felt like I did sexy, provocative work and was strong in that. And, you know what, not everyone likes what I do. I just have to remain confident. And make an offer. A strong offer. Because I fail otherwise. I fall when my offers are not backed up.

So, a Spanish accent, some Spanish text and strong physical offers made me a force to be reckoned with. Tres proud of self.

Me as Angel Gabrielle

So, building to my point. I gave myself a talking to in the Gibson Group waiting room. I said 'just be confident, you may need to go bigger to then go smaller. Make an offer or three'

...

Yesterday afternoon, trudging around Chapel Street with Mam and Nicky.

I found out I got the 'Giggles' job. So there you go. It may not be my dream job. But I am honoured. And I surprised myself.