continued.

I really enjoyed the last email from my Dad which said "Lv your diary and think it is indeed kooky at times, but also developing with words, nothing better than daily diary writing for that."
But, speaking of developing words, Dad has just launched www.kiwislang.org.nz which I encourage you all to have a hoon at.
Here now! Below is a random account of some events. With no dates probably because in heat like this, I do forget what happened when!
PAINTING - Susie Jackson invited me out to her studio to paint. Martine came with and we spent an afternoon drinking beer, picnic-ing out at the ranch and fiddling with oilpaints. Mine did not get finished. I just did the undercoat, and though I have photos of the area, I am annoyed with it and can't imagine finishing it. However, I will bring it home. At least as a momento.
It was such a joyous time though, we wore hideous oversized paint shirts, a bird shat on my head thrice so I then had to wear a hideous oversized hat and we listened to John Mayer, Springsteen and had a glorious time.
BOTANICALS - One Thursday afternoon after a particularly fullon day teaching, I had heard that there was a free Strings concert in the botanical gardens. It was only an hour long so I hooned there on the bicycle (which by the bye I LOVE! I am buying a bike when I get home) and got there before anyone else and soaked up Tchaikovsky and Rachmaninov silently surrounded by crowds of people also being quiet! Not a usual occurrence in a crowd that large.
It was the Meridian Quartet led by a gorgeous man from Paris. Eventually Tiana, Chris, Felix and Simon turned up and I joined them by the lake whilst the sun shined on down on us. My absolute favourite was when they played Tchaikovs Sleeping Beauty song - which in all fairness I only know from Disney's SB. Once upon a dream. I happily sung along too it and forgot myself for a moment.
Afterward, Chris Jackson took me and Felix out for lunch. Shouted us a fabulous lunch at Freshies, which is kinda iconic in this town and I had never been. What started out as a tiresome day turned out to be just idyllic.
VIETNAMESE AND ALEX - On the final Friday of teaching, my dear dear friend Alex had come back to Steamboat from his jaunts overseas in France and Stuart shouted us all inc Alex a Vietnamese lunch. It was like it hadn't been a year! We were back taking the mickey out of each other and just having a super fun time. He is very much like family, Alex. Amusing, intelligent, stubborn. We've pretty much been inseparable ever since. That night we had mojitos with Adam, Mikey and Mikey's friend. Talk about deja vu.
HAIL STORM - Felix and I had a bike date on one of the hottest days here. We did a little shop and then planned to bike home. However the sky not far away had turned the darkest shade of black I've ever seen. I told Felix I was gonna wait for the bus. He braved it. And lo and behold, as my bus pulled up behind him, hail like golf balls fell from the sky. Some nice bugger hauled him into his pickup truck and drove him home while I stayed on the bus for an extra hour. It was the most intense storm I've been in. Even more than I when I almost got hit by lightning.
SHE'S COME UNDONE - Felix gave me THE MOST depressing book for my birthday. I can't even begin to convey how sad and crap the protagonists life was! It went from childhood rape, to hideous obesity, to a mental institution to lying about her life and getting married to an abusive man who forced her to have an abortion then insane again. And it didn't really get any better!!! I asked him why he got it for me. He looked at me blankly and said 'it's a really good book!' Well yes. Very well written, but I'm glad I read it after EAT PRAY LOVE!
PERF AT LIBRARY - Our 2nd to last show of MUCH ADO was at Bud Werner and the most awkward stage I've ever performed on! Thin and long and we couldn't really follow any of the limited blocking we had. So I improvised and in terms of working on spacial dynamic, I owned it! But I got very caught up in the emotion of it and got very loose I thought with the Kill Claudio scene. It was more between me and Adam than us and the audience. It reminded me of something Mam said to me ages and ages ago: 'It is much more powerful watching someone trying NOT to cry' and so true.
KATIE WEST - is back and as outrageous as ever. I am gonna stay with her for a day or two in NYC and I am looking forward to it.
GUNS - Though Morally opposed, I went off with the Sheriff (coincidentally a Kiwi!) and the rest of the crew. And we shot some guns! Mag 44. Laser ones. Girly pistols. Cop guns. And once I got over the initial shakes, I was actually very good at it, and it was kinda fun. Also, a good skill to have.
FINAL MUCH ADO - Working on endurance, connection and listening.
I 'discover' during fire speech.

The final show was fantastic, I finally nailed the 'What fire is in mine ears' speech. I really worked the action of I DISCOVER. And funnily enough, the last show was the only one that didn't sprout tears to my eyes. Which I'm fine with. I was working at being specific and I feel strongly that I was, so, like the rant I had earlier, crying does not matter. The connection between space, audience, fellow actors is much more important. Very satisfied.

Civilisation was well, in retrospect, not a show I felt had a lot of backbone by the end. We should have fought - WAIT I should have fought for a better show. Each scene was not specific to a place. The character's were not connected with each other. And though it was fun and entertaining, I believe it did not hit the mark as it should've. We were lazy.

As I write the schema for THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE - inspired by Civilisation and the purpose of cultural reflection - I am making choices based on what asks questions of myself and the audience. Ok, it is not a polished piece. YET. And our development season left something (a story) to be desired but I feel more confident in even pitching the thing!

It's been a while since I wrote

The days are getting both shorter and hotter.

The storms - after reaching a pinnacle of ridiculous unpredictability - have stopped. And now our shows are about to as well. It's been a stress for all wondering if we are gonna get rained out, whether Stuart's booked a backup place. Whether we have a show!?! But now the shows are over. I am the only kiwi left in the boat. And that is fine. Reflection time.

So I'm gonna attempt to go in order. I may jump around. Do forgive me. I will note things out of my diary...

July 9th - Have opened both shows. Strangely fared better in Much Ado than in Civilisation. I expected it the other way around because of my slightly awkward Shakespeare last year. I just realised I'm not the star attraction in Civ. but do have the potential to be in Much Ado. It is my onus to keep fine tuning. I cannot rely on the director for that as he is now focussing on performing one of the leads. Long story. But Leonato aka Doug quit under tiring circumstances.

Anyway, my focus is on being present and generous as we have a bunch of fresh actors who need support. I felt such great freedom tonight in Much Ado - started to work with the audience which I know is one of my gifts - being able to be connected with a group in a comic sense - the tougher thing is always being that connected when I am being more erm, simple and truthful

I guess would be the words.

July 11th - Why oh why did I insist on wearing highwaisted shorts for the Shakespeare? Now, I know that period wise, they are great. But not only do they hook to areas that one wouldn't like hooked during performance (let alone physical comedy) but they are boudaciously unflattering! And hideous pics on facebook! Curse you facebook! 2nd Civ show tonight - really started working the relationship with the audience (as Shakes has taught me yet again. Good ol' Willy!)

This is something I want to harness the rest of the season. It is how I can contribute performatively to the show. It is about 'Selling it' and choosing the moments.

Been reading EAT PRAY LOVE which I do love! Phrase of the week 'Master Your Thinking'

I like to be in control but the only thing I need to control is my mind. My choices. Love, cravings, practice, routines and consumption should be in tune with my spirit.

July 12th - It's 1/2 way into 2011 and I'm reading EAT PRAY LOVE and contemplating Buddhism. As you do. I like the concept of a practice that settles the mind into being more focussed, more clear.

We are doing the kids theatre workshops and all of a sudden I've realised the adventure in Steamboat is almost over and that it may well be the last festival I am part of. Financially it's too debilitating and I am missing out on auditioning back home. And, of course, other things too. But I'd love to actually work here and live here and I would need a visa. So, I can't see it happening. However, Adam and I were thinking of doing a two hander in the winter which would see us here for 2 weeks. Mmm. Tempting.

With this new found realisation I've been thinking about what I want back home. What I want to achieve this year. I have made a list. At the bottom of this list reads: Inner peace and a spot of financial stability. Ha!

July 13th - Have just finished EAT PRAY LOVE - which I realised I did not want to like. Thought (from experience with film) that my skepticism wouldn't hold me through the book. It's taught me a little about compassion and about listening to God - whatever that, he, she, it may be. Listening to myself and to beauty. Which is life. At a particularly poignant part near the end of the book I glanced up from my body-stamped spot in the grass, lying diagonally next to my bike and surrounded by friends and saw the sun shooting through the trees and cotton spilling through the air delicately lit, like summer snowflakes and in the following order (most peculiar I felt) I imagined: snow, my love's face, myself lying next to him, him reaching for my hand, me smiling at the sky and a pregnant belly. What does that mean?!! I thought I put that guy to rest in my heart?! He's not even here this year!! However, beautifully filmic images, and I didn't feel sad or anything. Just sort of contented and hopeful.

So, I guess I'm a little more than grateful to Liz Gilbert and her book. Sorry Julia Roberts, but it wasn't done justice.

15th July - Ass and legs on fire. Have been riding a bike everywhere. Which is great! But also tiring and energising simultaneously! Have been teaching kids with Simon - who I adore! so joyous, goofy, intelligent and caring. Had a salad and bellini lunch afterwards with M'Tang and Adam, read in the park, then went on a sore ass inducing epic ride home in the sun. Now am on bus on way to free concert, with an old man who's harping on about 'friends with benefits' Ummm DUDE! You're on the bus!! Yesterday at the supermarket, a morbidly obese 50 year old with hideous and expensive clothes offered to buy me a Starbucks coffee. Hilarious.

16th July - Our show on Wednesday was mad - first Stu was a bit late and forgot the tree, then the pace was farrrked, then a storm came through about half way into it and we ended up having to relocate to the depot. With half the audience in tow. It actually resulted in a much better performance - I think perhaps something to do with us all being on equal ground, having a shared experience etc. I realised I wasn't working on ANYTHING in the first part of the show - thus I got time to reset and I was much more pleased with the result in a more connect, multilayered performance. So much more satisfying. I don't know why I thought I could get away with just winging it. It makes me so much more aware if I choose to focus on a question or an area of development. So tonight up at Spring Creek, I'm gonna make spacial dynamic a focus. I'm excited.

Last night the free concert was Grace Potter and the Nocturnals. I'd never heard of them. But boy, were they fabulous. I have never have seen rock musicians havings such a super time on stage. I did the groupie thing and bought a CD and a T'Shirt. She is one of the best live singers I've had the pleasure to hear, see, dance to

July 17th - very tired today Gammy. Gonna make my mission connection and specificity. Connection to my actions. LATER...

After she arrived last night, Charlotte and I went up the gorgeous Gondolas and had dinner at Hazies. What a 3 course scrumptious meal. Beet salad. Divine fish. NZ wine. And dessert we saved for later. The view was stunning and I just loved it.

July 18th - After a nearly rained out show on Sat night (Civ which I did some terrifically naughty improv) we got in the cars and headed to Denver. Charlotte and I drove with Stu so they could chat about the future on the fest. It made me realise how uninformed, and unclear he is on his own producing and made me really want to help. When we finally got to Denver, disaster ensued. We got given a key to our hotel room in the beautiful Oxford Hotel (Patty and I had had Apple Martinis - Yum!) When we opened it, a man's voice shouted 'WRONG ROOM!' Giggling, all us gals headed back down, thinking they'd given us the wrong room number. (cont'd 20something of July) No no no no no! They had over booked. A flash as town car was sent and off we went to the Hyatt Grand. Dionjoy, our driver was amused to have a bevy of gals from the world in his car.

No no no no no no no. Wrong hotel. I was getting pissed. I wanted to hit the town! And I wanted a room to lay my head! Dionjoy arrived again and off we went to the Hyatt Regency. Also full. I got snippy and spent half an hour getting us not one but two rooms. And both free. I have to say I channelled my mother.

The boys, having left me in a rage, buggered off - so me, Charlotte and Martine got a bottle of bubbles at a truly crap bar, were then picked up by Patty, taken back to the other hotel. Raided their minibar. Then went home to sleep.

The next day - we traipsed around town after a lovely brekkie. I don't think I'd like to live in Denver. It's pretty. But also pretty uninteresting! Off to the GORGEOUS botanical gardens for 2 shows. Both Much Ado. The first space was small, hard to do same blocking in. And we had a tiny audience. I had fun and learnt about adjusting. Then the 2nd. You couldn't ask for two more different performances! A beautiful huge marquee tent. Over 300 people and the best show yet! We were all so focused. Having fun. Playing out to the audience. Just superb. I don't even know how I can describe how intrinsically we were connected. So I'll just say that. Really very cool.

OK PART TWO TO COME SOONER THAN LATER! xx

Continued.....

Gonna work backwards....

We've become obsessed with this thing called Auto tune the news (look up on You tube and make sure you watch the original video as well) it's hilarious - essentially this group called Schmolo finds clips on net usually from the news of people saying unusual, asinine or ridiculous things and they autotune them into a song. Hours of entertainment. The below link is a woman on a blog who gets upset over her catloving!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=sP4NMoJcFd4

We've had quite a week and a half. 3 rehearsals a day. Going from Devised to Shakes to Devised. And, needless to say we are all exhausted and the workload has meant we have not been as productive as we coulda been. I had a wee realisation last night that it is OK for these to be works in progress. We are testing out some things.

We opened Civilisation last night and we hadn't done a run of the whole show with a full cast so it was energised with a smidge of anxiety. I was working on my character journeys and supporting the rest of the cast. There was a really strong sense of listening to each other because we had to be able to bail each other out if we needed too. We had a fecken' hard day yesterday - four thunderstorms and we realised we'd have to perform inside. It was an intimate audience but a lovely one. Personally, I'm glad we battled through it.

Tonight, we open Much Ado. And I again am concentrating on character physicality, impulses and listening. I realised I've been completely self focussed and I need to make sure the play is as cohesive as possible. Nothing better than feeling like a generous actor and sharing the stage with people.

Last Friday, Martine and I went to the Old Town Pub and danced the night away - I felt truuuuly crapulous on Saturday morning. It wasn't because of drinking too much - it was the week and the stress. We had a very productive rehearsal out in the beautiful open space at Perry Mansfield where Steve works, then planned to go home to have a wee rest before the Rodeo that night. However I was stupid, driving my bike, I decided to do some grocery shopping, and then couldn't fit my shopping, bike and self on the bus and had to balance it all! In the heat! On a bike! Up a mountain! I fell over and had to get dear Adam to come down and help me - we laughed all the way home! Only had about half an hour to 'rest' before the rodeo.

I have mixed feelings about the Rodeo. On one hand - a cultural experience that I'm glad I had. Firstly for the small enjoyment and 2ndly for the offensive behaviour. Food for thought. Let me clarify:

Enjoyment - A ridiculous rodeo clown that did a lot of cheesy jokes and tricks with horses and dogs. The hundreds of little kids running after a tiny bull was the cutest thing. BUT - and here's where the offense comes in - I don't know how anyone can validate the treatment of animals. Tying up bulls and horses by the balls so they buck? Chasing a bull with a horse, trying to loop a rope around it, take it down then tie its legs up for 10 seconds - and in the case of one guy - accidently getting the bull by the throat and strangling it. HORRIFIC.

We were all feeling a smidge strange after that and wanted to go home - but it was Steve's bday

and we headed to the Boathouse Pub to toast him. SO VERY HAPPY WE DID THAT!

Because there was the most fabulous blues gig on, playing were the Rocking Jake Band http://www.rockinjake.com/, whose groupies consisted of old cowboys having the time of their life. And I did too - I started the dancing and boy, did I dance. It was the most fun I've had in the longest time. Pure joy. And I didn't give a rats what anyone thought. And yes, everyone joined in on the action. What a great time! The others wanted to go to Sunpies and hit the razzle after but Simon and I weren't keen so we got sidewalk sausages (me a veggie dog) and taxied home. Blissful sleep and then SUNDAY!

Another bday! Felix! I had ventured to the dollar store (bike fiasco) and got him a lot of American treats and after a rehearsal we had a gorgeous potluck grill - Susie Jackson brought over bean caviar, we had a lovely cake made by Martine, and it was a lovely night! But we stayed up farrrr too late.

Monday was 4th of July and it woulda been better to not have felt like arse, but que sera sera, we headed down to the pancake brekkie at 8am - then dressed in 40s garb then got on the float singing Toi Whakaari E!, Hey, Nonny Nonny and This Land is Your Land. It was mercifully short but really fun nonetheless. Americans love America big time.

A really great sleep after a Shakespeare rehearsal and we headed to Susie's for a(nother) grill and down to her gorgeous art gallery for the fireworks. I met some lovely friends of hers - a couple who were most likely having their last 4th of July together - the lady Beth, has a horrible cancer and most likely will pass soon. It was quite special to be watching the fireworks with them. And in amidst the magical surroundings, I was suddenly overcome with hope, joy and wonder for life. It was rather unexpected and strange - especially as I was near this couple who were having a different sort of experience. But I slept sound that night.

So, then we come to my birthday. I wont drone on about it. But Felix and I had brekkie (which, subsequently he got food poisoning from... yerk) and he gave me a book and sunnies. Then the onslaught of 3 rehearsals. Which were fine. You know... Anyway, Patty - one of the Galsco board members - took me and Adam out for lunch and bought me a foot reflexology voucher - we finished the 3rd a little early 915 - and headed down to Mambo Italianos - where a lovely dinner and red wine awaited. I ate myself into a stupor. But all and all a lovely night.

I'm just gonna leave you with one more thing.

This is from my wonderful Dad. Too good for just my eyes...

Hi Kate

Happiest birthday, my dear.

‘You’re in my heart

You’re in my soul

You’re in my memories

As I grow old.’

Rod Stewart

Marmalade Memories

1. The External

This morning I have made a batch of marmalade, a calming activity --

as I wrote in my Bun Rabbit food memoirs.

Yesterday I harvested five of Robyn’s big and half-green grapefruit

Perfect for the jam.

I chopped and soaked in water overnight.

This morning, a still, chill winter’s day,

I boiled the fruit and water for 20 minutes,

As indicated by the Weekend Gardener recipe.

Added sugar and boiled another 30 minutes, stirring to stop burning.

I followed religiously the hints, and reminded myself not to leave it for a second.

I tested for setting several times, and voila, it set.

I had the jars and lids sitting in hot water.

I poured the golden jam into the jars,

Sealed them, wiped them down to remove dribble,

Stepped back and admired a gorgeous seven jars of marmalade

Sitting on the stainless steel sink. Success.

2. The Internal

Staring into the bubbling golden grapefruit for 20 plus 30

My mind roamed around my life between

My mother and my daughter.

The computer man asked me if I wanted Skype

And I do, but I need a camera,

I need Skype to see you in Colorado

On your birthday.

I love your sonnets on your blog.

Mum used to hum over her marmalade making,

Breaking into a cracked voice falsetto

Rendition of Somewhere Over the Rainbow.

I loved the worn wooden jam-stirring spoon

That seemed such an extension of Mum’s beating arm.

I loved squeezing Mum’s arm further up

Above the elbow, still soft.

Her forearm was steel muscle

From beating a million cake mixes

And bestowing the gluggy beater

On her two hovering sons to wrestle for ecstatic licking.

Mike and me.

Netty on the phone asked how Michael was.

I said he patted my hand last time I saw him,

Much the way Dad reassuringly patted Mum’s

When she was agitato.

His memories are locked away now.

The Intimacy column in the DomPost today

Asked and answered questions on happiness.

My happiness was stirring marmalade

And thinking of Mum making batches of it,

Of my daughter in Colorado

Writing sonnets and planning the Laramie Incident

For her production back home.

I miss you both so much.

My eyes fill with tears

Of happiness.

Have a happy birthday and have a safe trip home.

All my love.

DKDadxxx

In various parts: Shirley Maclaine, 4th of July, Birthday and life is beautiful

Last week, a spontaneous brunch with Eva and Felix resulted in sitting opposite the Iconic royalty of the acting world Shirley Maclaine.

I stared.

It was the hair that got me first. Then the good facelift. Then the mannerisms. Ladylike. Wow!

What a great place to eat my veggie omelette.

On a side note by the bye, I have become an egg fanatic over here. Everyday - Eggs! It's a bit weird.

Anyway, it totally made my day and reminded me of all my hilarious USA encounters with celebs.

It is currently 12.37am on 6th of July - My bday. I'm going to bed. Will edit this post later and add to it. Thought I better get a start on it though...