A little wrapup....

A little wrap up.

I’m on the plane back home and musing about the last 3 months which have just flown by. It might seem idiotic – because I know the realities of flying overseas to fix things/relax/rejuvenate are… well, unrealistic. But it happened. It worked for me. I needed this trip. I have learnt more than I did last time in a sense. I feel I have grown up somewhat. Yerk – 26 and growing up. And if I do want to come back, I need to make it happen and make a situation that I can work and live in. Because as terrific as saving, fundraising etc is a couple of times – it’s wearing thin and I have a brilliant career to think of. Also, I can't always rely on the kindness of others. But ta very much all the same!

Anyhow, after getting back from NYC, I had a couple of days in LA, getting back into the swing of classes. (I have decided to write about the classes in a separate section) Jess and I took a wee trip out to Venice beach where the tune from Baywatch has been stuck In my head ever since. Venice was a mecca of beach babes and muscle ripped men. And all seemingly stuck in Baywatch style getup. Quite, quite hilarious. We watched street performers, held onto our bags for dear life (Jess had been pick pocketed there the week before) and met up with the curious Rose McIver and her lovely boyfriend Ben. I wish I could say I threw myself into the salty ocean, but I’d just had a budget bikini wax at a dodgy Vietnamese salon. The woman was the loveliest creature but I ended up with a horrific rash that was unsightly. TMI? Don’t care!

That night, we did something – but for the life of me – I can’t remember what it was…. I’ll paste it in later.

That Friday I decided to drive up to San Diego in Charlotte’s flash 2011 Prius and see my good mate Kurtis (On this trip I’ve got to know his Mom heaps better – Aunt Susie – and his brother Chris and sister Mary. They have to be THE coolest family unit of good, generous, funny, artistic people I know… My own excepted) Anyway – after I got over the horror of the freeway – again thanks to my good friend Sherry the GPS system. I had a beautiful drive up to the picturesque, delightful, charming San Diego. I actually felt like it was like an American version of the Island of Spetses – had that kind of ‘local’ feel to it.

I drove to Kurty’s place and he took me out for lunch to a super little Kiwi pub! Hilarious – in the heart of San D there’s true blue Fush’n’chups, pies, NZ beer, etc. We musta been there for hours. I hadn’t seen the guy in a year, and it was like with Alex, we picked up where we left off and amused, questioned and inspired each other. I am very very lucky with my set of friends.

We wombled down the beach, out to the famous pier (where one can stay in a cute little motel for a small price) and then went back to his place and met his flatmates. I was going to stay, head to a party etc – but I had to pick up Charlotte from the airport. I was sad to go – it was a couple of hours away – so I knew it’d probably be a year before I saw Kurtis again. Well, at least a few months…! Hahah.

The drive back was horocious. Long. Traffic. And to make matters worse – Charlotte’s flight which was meant to get in at 745pm – let everyone off the plane around 915. I was NOT impressed. At all.

When she did get in, we went to the fabulous Real Food Daily and got spoiled with the vegan feast. On Saturday Charlotte and I hung out, then I went and met Veronica at the Hollywood Cemetery for PSYCHO. It is such a weird, genius community event. Hundreds line up for tickets, you take a picnic in. Wine. Cheese. And you sit on the grass surrounded by people who love the movies, love the atmosphere . I waited for Vee for sometime, and sooooo good to hang out. Another friend who just gets me and I get her. And she HATES living in the States but she is very much in love and very happy with her boyfriend Jake. Says he’s ‘the one’ – I, in turn, am extremely happy for her. Couldn’t happen to a nicer girl. She is also one of the funniest creatures I know. Her commentary throughout the film was almost better than the film itself.

A little worse for wear on the Sunday - as Vee and I had knocked back the vinos at Psycho, Charlotte and I celebrated the first part of her birthday at Bob's Big Boy - secretly her favourite restaurant. Eggs and more eggs and coffee were called for and then I had to do an epic 5 hour class before the piece de resistance of dinner at.... THE IVY! Ooh lala! And I got to say, that was one of the best dinner experiences ever. Charlotte's grandad was shouting dinner for her 29th and thank the Lord, because I could've barely afforded a glass of water at this place. We had famous vodka gimlets and strawberry bellinis, we had a lovely server in a pink shirt and floral tie, we had Gene Simmonds come in at the end and try and look incongruous, and I had THE best striped bass with pureed cauli and squash and spinach. Oh my. I even got dessert, which I couldn't finish. Profiteroles with three different ice creams, homemade pistachio, praline and caramel. No wonder this is one of the best places to eat in LA. No wonder it's so famous. No detail goes un-noticed and yet it wasn't made to feel like you weren't welcome - you know, at a really rich persons place. We had a delightful evening, Charlotte: amused by my incredulous excitement, me: incredulous and excited. We had arranged to meet Ben and Jess at Cabo Cantina on Hollywood Boulevard for drinks. So onwards we went, where watermelon, peach and lychee margaritas were awaiting us. And boy did we get sloshed. Completely unintentional. And not since I was about 15 and being a try hard have I had such a vomitous reaction to alcohol. Was not one of my finest moments... I started out the evening pure class and ended it with my head in the toilet bowl of Charlotte's new apartment. (In my defense this final weekend was the only real going out times in LA... oh that was weak) But we all had a good, fun night.

Monday could've been worse. I mostly ran errands for Charlotte - I got in a rage waiting for her car to get fixed and walked 45minutes in 93 degree heat to Universal city and got numerous cold waters and iced coffees there. Then I met up with Jess, Ben, Rose and other Ben and we lay by the pool for hours, had a quick bite at the infamous Smoke House, whose clientele was more geriatric than celebrity, and I leapt off to my last class - where I had my orientation lecture (3 weeks late!) but it all came together for me there. I understand the teaching a lot more now. I feckin' well wanted to stay on. Lots more to get out of that class I believe.

TUES – On Tuesday I FINALLY bit the bullet and went to the Getty Museum. Absolutely gorgeous. A must see for anyone hitting Los Angeles. You drive for ages to get there, then pay $15 bucks to park. I was terrified the entry fee was going to be hideous (I was pinching my pennies HARD at this point) and then was delighted to find the fee was in the carparking fee. Actually free. Boom! I started in the European section, soaking up beautiful, simplistic watercolors, then moving on to evocative, oils setting the scene for French dignitaries and early modern/impressionistic art. I was incredibly moved by two paintings - I think they both were by Jean Francois Millet - definitely one of them which was a man working the fields called MAN WITH A HOE. The inscription next to it read "In a rocky plane a man, all worn out... tries to straighten himself for a moment and breathe. The drama is surrounded by beauty." The other was a picture of (whoever the) artist's child - a mournful picture of adolescence. Lovely. Very lifelike.

I then took in some sculptures and decorative art, which I appreciated but wasn't so into. The next section CUBA: A REVOLUTIONARY EXHIBITION was STTTTTUNNNING. It showed, through the photographic eyes of several artists, the expression of lifestyle in Cuba from 1908 to today. The original famous and iconic image of Che Guevara. A young boy in black and white grinning optimistically whilst clutching a gun. A young woman, posing provocatively at the beginning of her womanhood. I loved it. Finally, I went to the beauteous central garden, sat on the grass and wrote in the sun. Watched lovers be romantic. Watched kids get in trouble for playing with the highly 'designed' flowers. And I wrote and I wrote and I smiled.

That evening Jess had organised dinner for me at Buddha's Belly, a superb Asian restaurant on Beverly Blvd. Attending were Charlotte, Jess, Ben, Craig Hall, Taika Cohen/Waititi, David and Sam someone and moi. California wine flowed, we talked shop and talked shit. We laughed and told stories and it was a great last 'proper' dinner in LA. And they all paid for me. Nice eh?

Jess, Ben, Sam and I went on to a famous little bar (will have to ask Jess the name) and the boys bought the girls flash cocktails till the wee hours and I had to crash out at Jess' as it was so late. But really fun. I'll miss Jessa - she's another keeper. And I really like her boyf too. Nice when one approves of one's friends partners. She drunkenly said to me 'We've talked about it Kate. Ben and I have decided. You have to move here. It will be so good for you. People like you here. Don't get stuck' You know what? I concur.

We were all (and I'm sure by now you're thinking 'Kate - monitor the drinking!') worse for wear in the morning. I rolled out of bed, went round the corner and had breakfast as I knew I wouldn't be eating for hours, walked up the epic La Brea Avenue and got Charlotte's car then packed and packed. And sunbathed and packed. Because I KNEW I'd be overweight. Those fecking boots Gretchen gave me are cool, but super buttie!

I retrieved Charlotte, we got manicures and then met Jess and Ben one last time before she goes to Sydney and had a gorgeous little meal at the Grove.

When we left, I danced in the Grove to the charming music, as the fountain danced around me, people stopped and clapped. And I didn't have a care in the world. Because I can be anyone I want to. And right then, I was aiming for a 1940s Hollywood movie star dancing by a musical fountain because she felt pure love.

On that note. That was Kate McGill in America. For now.

I did manage to get a sort of upgrade by telling the woman of my horrific period pains, I avoided the bag charge and I left a little sad to go but also hopeful at my brilliant future ahead.

I wont get stuck Jess Smith.

NEW YORK BABY

Taken from notes in diary....

20th August
I arrived in NYC yesterday evening around 5pm and it was amazing how cal, at home and easy I felt. Only the slightest niggle that I had to schlep a computer and two bags around the city all evening. Otherwise, I felt as though I'd come home.
I wasn't meeting Alice till around 8 in Union Square, so I thought ''It's Thursday night. I'm gonna hit Century 21" - my beloved department store where I get all the discounts on all the nice things. My budget was tight but I was determined to get there. In search of the cheap designer delight.
I didn't find ANYTHING. It was all tacky looking or over $400. However, I did pick up my 50ml Estee Lauder Moisturizer for $30 (instead of 90 back home!) and with a free gift!
Then I was subway bound.
Out at Union Sq, the sky was a bizarre purple grey and it was very, very hot.
A storm was a-brewin'
I had got the most glorious photo earlier at Ground Zero. You can't really see the sky from around there, but the new building they're putting up is completely metallic and quite impressive (it was flat last year) So I could see the skies doomy clouds rolling in in the reflection. Which I now realize is so people can see if a plane's coming at it. That made me rethink my awe at it's 'beauty'
Anyway, I plonked myself in Starbucks and on the free wifi, next to a young dude reading Proust and openly pouring gin into his Iced Starbucks juice. New York. You get used to it.
Alice turned up and it was so nice to see her. She is my ex-flatmate and a kooky but kind girl. We went two shops down to a restaurant called THE COFFEE SHOP (don't actually serve coffee...) ordered Blue Snapper, NZ wine and yarned about her Irish boyfriend, acting school, goals and dreams.
Back at her place, a great apartment all the way up in Washington Heights - which is like 180th street - most of the places you actually want to go are in 4th through to 75th streets -
we chatted for hours ate about 9 flavours of ice cream and finally went to sleep.
I was awoken around 8am by her psycho neighbours who scream at the top of their lungs at each other every morning. On this particular morning, they were throwing pans at each other. How pleasant. Cough, cough.

21st August
Yesterday, I did my usual schlep. Walking blocks and blocks, instead of opting to use the subway (which if you don't have a map on you, can be a right pain in the ass.)
I quite accidentally wombled into a raging street market. There was a dress I REALLY wanted in LA for about $65 - which I wasn't willing to spend that money on - I got for $10! It was 18 but I bartered!
Anyway, my schlep continued up to W45th street and Broadway where I used my charm as a 'Student from NZ' to get a $35 rush ticket to see 'Jerusalem' - about to close it's season and tony award winning.
INCREDIBLE
Mark Rylan blew my mind - really excited me in his larger than life character with a heart of gold. That's the sort of performance I'm aiming for in my comedy. Exciting, eccentric, interesting, oddball characters that are vividly drawn and believable.
The play, by Jez Butterworth, is very idiosyncratic English in it's humour (the guy from Jersey next to me didn't quite get it) but I fel very fortunate to have witnessed that.
Afterwards, I met up with Alice and we got wine, cheese and fruit and headed to Central Park where we met up with my dear friend Nick Demarest from Steamboat 2010.

We chatted, hung out and headed to my fave place the Shalel Lounge. It's a cute lttle Morrocn place on the Upper West. Blue cocktails, laughter and grilling (Alice to Nick on religion, sex, his girlfriend) after a while, he left (surprise surprise. Hehe) and we went to an Irish bar, then had a late night meal at my old haunt Gigi cafe. It's funny what sticks with you about a place.

Another storm is brewing in NYC.

LATER

Oh wow. I just paid a small fortune to see WAR HORSE. Absolutely magical, once in a lifetime, beauteous, divine, worthy experience. Absolutely magical. Delicatelly manipulated puppets - life sized horse puppets - I completely got sucked into the life of them. And so did everyone else - the woman next to me: wealthy, in her 50s - was whimpering when the horse got whipped. The story was very childlike with very architypan characters and at first that irritated me. Now I understand it was a device to aide the audience in suspending disbelief for the 3odd hours. In the horses, in the stylized war scenes.

The set was basic, with a plain, revolving floor, a strip or streak of projection gauze - basically they let the intricacies ofthe puppets to the word.

I'm now in a cafe watching it piss down outside, wishing Nick would call for where to meet -as I don't know what to do with myself! I want to give Alice some alone time -maybe I'll see a fillum.... or walk in the rain...

Just in awe! Of that show! That was terrific. Visally phenomenal. Stamped in my brain. And at the end I thought of my granddads and their friends. And how the war must've affected them. How it changes people back home. Oh life. What we do.

22nd August

Last night I ate all the cheese. And the ice cream. And the crackers. Alice made a feast of sorts in her little apartment in Washington Heights. We talked and talked and talked. Funny Alice and I mostly end up talking about 3 subjects: Men, Acting and Goals. And we always feel extremely intelligent, deep and genius when we do this. Very uplifting person to hang around.

I was thinking about what I'd achieved since I was last here. Last year. And seeing as I've written down some very specific goals I'm going to achieve by next year I thought I'd share last years achievements. Here is my list:

- DARRYN EXISTS

- CHRIST ALMIGHTY

- FUNDRAISING MONEY TO GET HERE

- TEACHING AT TOI WHAKAARI

- MOUNTING THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE

- DIRECTED BIRD SONG

- GOING TO THE GYM REGULARLY

- COMPLETED A DETOX

- WORKING WITH LONG CLOUD YOUTH THEATRE

- WORKED IN CASTING

- DIRECTED BADJELLY THE WITCH

So there you go.

I am now sitting in a cafe on the corner of Lafayette and Prince eating Frittata and hot coffee on this muggy day. Foolish but somehow necessary. I'm enjoying writing in my diary. The process of reflection is a wonderful one. And what's more - I like re-reading it. My memory is not great... and maybe I want to document my stories one day. Maybe.

23rd August

I met up with Darren yesterday for lunch in the East Village - in a part of Manhattan I hadn't been too before. He is going to help me facilitate a program (through Charlotte's exciting, new company) to get young NZ practitioners internships in NYC. Very very cool. Also great to catch up with such a lovely, divine, good chum.

After that I met Greg R and Tiff at Tectonic - they were uber stressed but it was nice to pop in.

That afternoon I sat in Central Park for a couple of hours reading and writing Frenchie. Felt good.

Then.... I did the mission to Brooklyn to meet Leigh Fondakowski for dinner. She was one of the directors of THE LARAMIE PROJECT. Never mind I missed the stop because I was writing whimsy in my workbook, I wasn't late. She met me at the subway and we walked down to a great Thai place. Brooklyn is super charming, and very homely. More spread out than Manhattan - I think if I moved here - I'd be inclined to live in Brooklyn.

Leigh is a very warm, interesting and interested person. She was no holes barred - is that the expression? - about the experience of Laramie last year and the people. Nothing was bitchy, she just talked specifically about what worked and what didn't work.

I think the basic thing that I got from her was that she keeps investigating. She is a perfectionist, so she's always aiming to strike the right balance and not settle for shit. We talked about the company of actors, the stage management. She told me she thought I should come back for the tour next year. October. GIVE ME A VISA AND I"M THERE! I felt like shouting. She said 'You're a very hard, passionate worker Kate. That's hard to find.' She asked me questions about my acting, NZ, aspirations, inspirations. (She asked about you Mum, and what you think about your daughter being an actor. I said you weren't over the moon initially but that you are a very proud, supportive mother. And that my Dad is too - a great parent. Lucky girl I am.)

Leigh and Darren are very much worth keeping in contact with because they are interested and they care. About the craft but also of me, personally. Alice too. Surrounding myself with good people is really good!

I caught the train back just as the city was starting to sparkle. Last night in NY for another year maybe?

Back in Washington Heights on the other edge of New York City, Alice and I went up to the 360 view rooftop, sipped Bacardi and Diet Coke and giggled all night.

This morning I woke early - but not to the soothing sounds of the retarded next door neighbours. They are violent and throw stuff at each other. I nearly called the cops the night before.

Alice and I mosied down the road to get $10 Manicures. I - for some reason - got Yellow. I'm not sure about it. I think it was a fail.

We then caught a subway and schlepped around the Upper West for the good part of the morning, trying to find a breakfast place. Finally, we got to an OK cafe on 2nd Ave. I got into a cab - and here I am now at JFK - delayed because of the earthquake in Virginia (no one died, thank goodness) and stuck here for an extra 2 hours which means I have to drive Charlotte's 2011 Prius in the dark on the Freeway. Saying multiple prayers right now. MULTIPLE. Saint Christopher's got my back.

Back and through LA baby.

Tata NYC. You're always there for me.

Universal Studios

This begins a long line of short burst posts, because I am in NYC listening to Jazz in Starbucks. And time is precious. Isn't it?!

Last Friday, Jess and her brother Chris and I went to Universal Studios. I was kinda expecting it to be dire. But MAN OH MAN was it fun!

We arrived around 2 o'clock in the sweltering heat and started on the crappiest ride. The haunted house was the worst by far. As it was our first thing - we thought great! We paid $60 for shite. (And that was a huge discount because I did a wee bit of acting....) We waited in line for Shrek 4D for 40 minutes - and that was an improvement but still - the waiting!

Then we noticed people going in all these places way ahead of everyone else. A bit of investigating and we got an 'After 4 VIP pass' for 40 odd bucks. Now we were none too impressed at paying a shiteload for a themepark - but my, did we have a good time. Most people don't get through everything in a day - much less half a day but we got too and it was hilarious!

The Simpsons Virtual Rollercoaster was hilarious. Peter Jackson's King Kong was plain superb. Our delightful tour guide was clearly an aged, failed actor but he had such cheer. Jurassic Park brought back memories of my obsession with Sam Neill at aged 9. And the Waterworld show was pure stunt genius. And also brought back the memory of Mum and I seeing Waterworld and Corinna, Corinna back to back when I was ten or eleven. I felt soooo cool seeing two movies in one day.

It was just a very fabulous fun time. I'm really glad I went.

Afterwards, Miss Veronica Burns picked me up (she lives out in the O.C so it's a bit hard to get too) and we went out for a glorious vegetarian Thai meal. She got me a fabulous handbag as a late birthday present - the little gem. It was so great to catch up with her. She's a true friend.

And I plan to have her over next week, when she can stay over and not worry about the 2 hour drive home.

I got home to Charlotte and we had a good yarn about life dreams and goals.

A very successful, happy day.

classes. at the actors centre.

Fleur Saville met up with me before I left and said 'YOU HAVE TO DO THE ACTOR'S CENTER LA CLASSES' Have to. Interesting. Why? Says I. 'BECAUSE YOU LEARN HOW TO NAIL EVERY AUDITION' Wow. Says I. 'EXACTLY' says Fleur.

So off I tottled last Sunday and began.

Now, there are some interesting methods being used. Am still very interested in how one directs without constructive criticism. The training is gained through various drills. All working towards having a brain that responds quickly to a description – however small – of a character.

The chief objective to ‘be’ a realistic, rounded person without judgment.

The first lot of drills involve games, improvs, body-mapping (which I loved!! Eg – Centre of gravity/where you lead from: Top of head – like a magnet is pulling you up to the moon. Character would be a child. Then from the nose out to the horizon line – character an inquisitive person. Chin (aristocrat) shoulders (first one at a time then together – together is kind of mental) Collarbone, chest (breasty lady/body builder,) stomach, hips (again one at a time then together,) front of thighs, knees, shins, then feet (magnet to the floor)

The first personal drill they had me do was cards. Very simply – they gave me a ‘character card’ – a description like: a nurse, a deli worker, a school marm. I sit on a chair (or stand if I wish) and the person sitting opposite me picks up the card and says “ Be a ______” and I then take on whatever that person means to me. If I get “Be a nurse” I don’t have to suddenly be at work – I could be in a waiting room for a job, I could be at home watching TV etc etc. Also, I don’t have to speak and I can do it for as little or as long as I like. When I am done, the person opposite acknowledges I’m created something by saying a repetitive word of their choice ‘Good’ or ‘Thank you’ or ‘Great’ or ‘Awesome’ – they DO NOT elaborate. You then have another go. I imagine you can see what my problem is with lack of critique – how do you know whether it’s good, believable etc. And I would usually just rely on self-critique but they don’t want me to do that either.

Don’t get me wrong – I am enjoying myself and getting things out of it – I just have some questions.

The card drill, once you have practiced, gets added to. (Once you are in character) You then get an emotion card ‘You feel that the world is vast and you want to explore it. You feel endless anticipation at life. You judge others who stay in one place’ – from this you don’t go over the words in your head. You take on whatever feeling that evokes in your character. So I might feel spacey, drugged out or blissfully happy.

More and more things get added. I haven’t got to all of them yet.

We also were given lectures about voice and body impulse. And about reading character in film. The voice and body was great – we used the emotion cards to show whatever the feeling was in our bodies in the space. No voices. Then we sat down, no emotion or physicality used, we would make the sound of the emotion. I liked it – it drew up ideas and new flavours that I might not consider using otherwise.

The film lecture-we watched excerpts from the Godfather and broke down the character through what they wore, their lines, their body language, where they paused etc etc.

The thing I have found most frustrating about the classes is self-drilling. Like a total pain in the ass. And I feel like a dick – and the performer in me can behave like an ass in front of other people, but not so much in front of myself.

One of the other drills that is probably my favourite and you do this with a partner is a sort of a mimic exercise. You go out of the building, find a person in a shop, on the street, in a café, etc – and talk to them. Either you tell them you’re an actor and may you talk to them for a brief moment, or you can just strike up a conversation. I opted to tell them what I was up to as I think that it’s important to be honest. Anyway once you’ve talked to them for a bit, you leave them – go well away from them (and all while your partner is watching – I think it’s more of a security measure than anything else) you ‘Be them’ for as long as you want.

My first person was a nervous Mexican lady who DID NOT wanna talk to me. That was a little boring. And I was nervous too. My first go.

The second was a man who looked like Mum’s friend Peter Sharp in Jamba Juice. He told me his name was ‘Richard’ he’d just been on a hike and we had a chat about various places to hike – one of them has the bat-cave from the original Batman! It was fun ‘being’ Richard.

The third and most interesting was Mr Anonymous. A lonely, slightly crazy perhaps man in the supermarket. He acted like he was doing me a HUGE favour chatting away to me – ‘Well I gotta sit down first and I can’t talk for long. I’m suffering. From arthritis’ - As the conversation wore on I realised he was but I was doing him an even bigger service by talking to him. Every time I tried to close off the conversation, he would fix me with a momentary wounded look and then keep on talking. He talked about the Godfather and the great comedians. He talked about the best movies and the worst. He did not think Sofia Coppola deserved criticism for her performance – ‘people are mean.’ Mr Anonymous was very generous with his time. And I felt glad to have met him.

So finally, to conclude we do these drills, we extend on them.

On my last session there before I went to NYC, I got up to perform in a FLASH performance at the end. It’s entirely improv. I was given a character – we all a scenario. In the lock room at Las Vegas police department. My character was a singer who’d played a huge gig and was pulled up for her expired drivers licence.

It was really fun and I got to work with my friend Diona, a motherly African American woman with a super sense of humour.

And I made people laugh. There’s the critique. Right?

Continue this

Hola,

Yes - so after I did that wonderful trip to LACMA - Jess and I hooned around having boba teas (so yum) and then started to get ready for the 'Hollywood party' we were invited to. Jess being my makeup guru and making me look nice.

In the car on the way there, I get a call from 'Lauren from Stiner-Block Casting. You have an audition tomorrow with Sally at 11.30' Ummmm - huh? Susie Jackson had recommended me from my work in Steamboat. Naturally I started to get nervous - Jess told me to settle down and took me through the basics for what I needed.

So, I started to chill and enjoyed the Australian Addie's 21st birthday party, which was peppered with managers and 'celebrities.' It was actually really nice and quite chill.

The next day was this audition and boy was it successful!

I got in to the building, calmed myself and met Sally Stiner, the hilarious larger than life lady who after a brief moment of awkwardness - not having my CV - thanks Jess! - We got on like a house on fire!

I did a read of a script and she was complimentary.

And... she gave me valuable information about working as an actor in the States - for when I actually get a work visa and can work - and we settled on I might come help out in the office a couple of days - just observing. Very cool. Don't feel afraid of actually doing it now! I mean, living the dream here!

I just realised, you don't play the game of being up yourself plastic faced, you play the game of being yourself and that's how everyone gets work worldwide through talent, hard work and your connection with people or peoples.

OK - another post coming soon

x

oh the forever to be continued

Dancing the night away at le Chateau where I got numerous free drinks and hit on by Vegas types. Kevin the Mexican is only 20, so he was hilarious to watch try and be gallant and a ladies man. Jimmy and I spent a lot of our time watching him.

I was gussied up like Big Bird in my delightful yellow dress and I had a grand time.

The next day, Chaz and I were obsessed with going on the gondolas in the Venetian. We rocked down there and bought our tickets for 5 hours later (they are surprisingly popular... well it is a fake Venice river....) and then made the call to go to the Hoover Dam.

Farrrrrk was it amazing. About a half hour drive from Vegas and you get to stand on the border of Arizona and Nevada and look at this vast machine that thousands of men put together, died for and actually something that not only powers four states but saved lives as well. The Dam was made during the depression and was the only work for miles. It paid well and it made a difference to the livelihood of so many people.

Once I had finished being moved by this knowledge, Jimmy and I made a series of characters on a camera - all of whom were irritating touristy people.

But loads of fun... it may end up on You Tube.

Oh sucky info. Not only has my computer broken. My camera broken. NOW my iPhone is broken. I am very, very, very pissed off. All of the things I use on a daily basis. I definitely hit the wall when that happened.

Back in the Vegas region, Charlotte and I went on the Gondola

Look here https://www.gondolaphotos.com/products.aspx?email=kjmcgill@gmail.com

Or here - very cute!

It was lovely - the babe in the background wooed me with his authentic Italian singing and we giggled and even got souvenir items!!

The others were all exhausted and piked on Saturday night - but I wasn't having it - I'd been told that Ka by Cirque du Soleil was amazing so I missioned down there, got a ticket - using I am a student from New Zealand schtick and then roamed the very impressive MGM Grand. Beautiful. Much more spaced out than other hotels and casinos, full but not squashed in horrible. I decided to treat myself to a lovely meal and plonked myself at the bar of the famous Wolfgang Pucks. A gorgeous salad and NZ wine sat in front of me and I watched passers by, chatted to the wait staff, the couple next to me and when they forgot my vegetables, I got another glass of wine and the first one on the house! So it didn't end up being expensive in the end. Thank goodness.

Ka was SUPERB. The epitome of what it means to be a great ensemble. A sort of modern day twist on the Ming Dynasty - it was amusing, action packed, cute, mind boggling, SUCH high production values. Made me briefly bitter about the lack of in NZ

See the trailer http://www.cirquedusoleil.com/en/shows/ka/default.aspx

It brought home to me the training that Tom McCrory did with me about suspending disbelief through a series of specific movements.

I did a class at Stella yesterday, the only good thing that really came out of it was the 'Physical Comedy' section. It was the 'problem of the chair'

It was various moves to get one on the chair, but failing at it in a clear and specific way makes the audience laugh.

Anyway, Ka blew my mind and not even the annoying lone, crazy, chatty woman next to me could distract me from the brilliance of it.

The next morning we checked out and got stuck in an epic traffic jam that took us 7 hours to get home instead of 4. Charlotte and I went to a movie at AMC Century City and we chilllllled!

I spent the next few days at Jess' which was so good! Because, I don't want to be in Charlotte's hair all the time - and she feels like she has to constantly entertain me - which she doesn't and we end up having cute squabbles. Jess had things on - auditions and the like - so I was able to roam around, walk the dog, go to LACMA.

Which brings me to my next point - the Tim Burton exhibit and Modern art at LACMA. It was the hottest day, and I decided to walk down the half hour stretch of road to get there - by the time I got to the coolness of the Los Angeles County Museum of Art I had broken a sweat and looked vile. The woman took pity on me and gave me $2 off my fare and off I trotted around the space, trying to find the fecking exhibit - which - at this point - I had lost all interest in!

And THEN I found I had to wait an hour to get in - so I thought FECK THIS! And headed up to the modern art where I immediately forgot my worries and was taken in by the complexities of American modern artists. It was the first museum I've been in where all the modern art is not wanky shapes symbolising the war. (There was one room of that but I bypassed it)

I was completely transfixed on this one of this Afro-American woman entitled 'She's not a ho'

And then again transfixed on the guy transfixed on the same painting. This is when I got my urge to photograph again and started subtly pulling out Charlotte's digital device....

After about an hour and a half of this, I happily trotted down to Tim Burton's exhibiton.

Tim Burton. WOW. http://www.lacma.org/art/exhibition/tim-burton

At first, I was like, yeah, lala - but is this art? Is it just celebrity? etc etc.

Then I started looking at the progression of drawings, the detailed notes to himself, to his designers. The man is a modern genius.

He is not obsessed with creepola things. Much more obsessed with the mundane, ordinary and how people can be chameleon. Which is why I think he uses Johnny Depp so much - he is a man who is always a bit peculiar but so much so that he has become ordinary!

Must continue later! Have to zip off!

Next addition is auditions and classes and Universal!

Bisous!

My 100th post! Pop the Champagne!

Hey hey from LA - this'll be quick. To be honest I'm doing it so I don't wrack up the days and have to spend an entire day writing the last 2 weeks!!

But this is my 100th post on McGill Does The World! Cause for celebration! That shows commitment!! Huzzah!

Let me just write first off; I LOVE IT here! If only I had a car I could spend my days tootling around happily! (Not relying on my dear dear friends)

GOALS:

Being around Jess and Charlotte makes me think intensely about ambition and goals. And I've realised from watching Jess in action, what discipline it takes to achieve the things you want in life.

I'm talking lifestyle changes here. Pondersome.

LAS VEGAS:

We set off for Las Vegas late last Thursday night. I emt Jimmy from NZ and the attractive but probably gay Mexican Kevin ('Kevin'!! Very Hispanic!) got in the vehicle and did the 4 hour mish to Las Vegas stopping at an IHOP along the way (International House of Pancakes - where I couldn't bring myself to order anything but a side salad) and we were off again, playing Florence and the Machine and others. Around 1am (and after several false alarm cheering for Mini-Vegas') we arrived at our destination - The Hilton Hotel. The most incredibly tacky, 90s hotel you ever saw. It was like being on an episode of Baywatch and going to a retreat... Not that I was complaining - it was free - but it really was hilarious. Vegas is the epitome of contradiction - it sells itself on being a 24/7 party but when there's people, by themselves, playing the pokies at 8 in the morning, something is sordid and the twisted underbelly of cigarette smoke and broken dreams looms heavily. Not that I got involved in that - I played $5 and won $12. And LEFT it there. Self restraint people.

We wombled up to the pool deck in the morning and I stayed there for hours in 108' heat. HOLY MOLEY. It was nice though - just dry, Greece-like heat. I persuaded Chaz to take me to the outlet store and nearly (and I'm still regretting this a week later) bought an amazing photography camera for $600 - it was more than twice the price in NZ. Oh Whyyyy didn't I? But I bought 2 silk tops for $40. Chaz spent almost 1000, and I realised I'm lucky to have a mum who taught me to look for quality cheap things. Hahaha. No, she bought lovely things - but all I could think was 'You could get those jeans at Glassons for $50!' She did buy a gorgeous Calvin Klein jacket, and I was jealous as!

Back at the hotel, the boys had gussied up for the PeepShow Charlotte had arranged tickets for. The monorail took us to Paris Hotel - which was a miniature Paris and SO SO cute. Mini Eiffel towers, a replica of the Arc de Triumph, cute patisseries and cafes. I loved it. Such a novel thing. At Planet Hollywood, we had fusion MExican - absolutely divine and then went to the Peepshow. Holly Madison, the 'headliner' cannot perform to save herself. Luckily everyone else was incredible otherwise a total waste of time. There was a faaaabulosu sequence in a milk bathtub with babeing men I'm going to attempt to replicate! And all too 'MilkShake' by Kelis, also a stunningly brave contortionist who performed alongside the wonderful, talented, Jason Chasland-esq Josh Strickland - He knew how to win the crowd back. The only thing Madison knew how to do was sing and she only sang one song - I am baffled how someone that placid and unfocussed can headline a $110 a ticket Vegas show for almost 2 years. Baffled. She was crap. Kevin got on stage with her and it made his night.

We met her afterwards. And poor girl, I realised she was shy. Very very shy. But a playboy bunny girl thing. Oh I dunno - the whole experience was odd and awkward.

Afterward, we headed to the beauteous Bellagio and watched the fountains in their famous firework-esq display shoot into the sky all to the tune of the star spangled banner.

Charlotte was exhausted and went hotelbound. But the boys and I, we wanted to dance! We were in Vegas afterall! I managed to score some free passes to the hottest club in town, and instead of paying $60 on the door, we slid in, I got a free drink and we danced in this hilarious club called le Chateau.

To be continued...

Los Angeles, California, US of A

Here I am in Lala land. And it's is a little lala.

I arrived 8ish Tuesday night. Jess picked me up from LAX and arranged for Char to meet us at a vegan restaurant in between both their houses.

I was tired from hanging around an airport all day - however - as you (whoever you are) can tell, I did get some decent writing done.

The restaurant was full of hipsters and babes. Our waiter you could tell was what they call here a 'resting actor' ie - not working. He was hilarious. All 'Honey, you have Got to try to clean green juice. It is the epitome of anti-oxidant.' The food was incredible, so much so that I couldn't eat it all.... I know! Me! (tempeh and vegetables with peanut sauce made a great breakfast the next day.)

After the lovely catchup, Char and I were hybrid bound to her house. We passed the sunset strip, Chateau Marmont, lights flaring, palm trees swaying and up up up by the Hollywood hills to her apartment. I got in the mood for, basically, a really good clean. As I am staying here for a while, I gave it a damn good hoon all over as soon as she'd left in the morning. Bathrooms, kitchen, bedrooms, living room. SPOTLESS!

Honey her dog is neurotic, so a two hour long walk and poochy was tired out and I got to see all of Warner Bros studios (the outside of) and peered into dry bushes, heard snakes, tried to find a Starbucks, then did some grocery shopping. All very mundane, but still interesting.

A trip to the MacStore. I have a wee problem with my 4 year old computer - I have to trade it in. It sucks, it'll cost a bit, but I use the thing everyday so... an investment... I guess.

Char picked me up at lunchtime and took me down to the Kodak Theatre, where I looked at the Hollywood walk of fame in wonder - thrilled to see Groucho Marx and Scorcese among the 'A-Listers' We sipped fresh juice smoothies and I thought 'Could I live here?' Time will tell. A photo against the pillars of the Kodak with the Hollywood sign in the background and we were ready to go.

Char had arranged for me to observe a voice class at Stella Adler.

I get the tour of the very New Yorky looking studios, all black and white and green. And into the little studio where Char and her four classmates begin to warmup.

Saleem and Jimmy are practicising their scene, they are methodically going through the space, naming things, and being wonderfully specific.

J: Is it a bedside table?

S: No, no. It's a coffee table, a small dark one.

J: Ok. Up here is a little triangle shaped skylight.

S: This is the kitchen

J: That small?!

S: Well, obviously it's a kitchenette. Jug, small fridge.

I really liked it, it added such fabric to what they were doing. Charlotte explained to me later that Adler's technique is all about imagination, not experience. Explains a lot. But I definitely want to embark on this when I next create a character. Think more about creating the space!

When the teacher Heidi came in, she invited me to join in for the first half of class. I was so grateful. It was all Linklater technique which I learnt (some of) at Toi Whakaari. It was so good to get the muscle going again. And I was interested to see the difference levels of participation from the students in the class. I was probably going harder than all of them, strangely enough.

New things I learnt:

The Soft Palate 'Kuhkuh' on a out breath you can do on an in-breath as well. This expands the ribs and releases the jaw.

When breathing in, make sure the belly is released while staying in posture. Quite a hard thing to do actually. What helped me was when we lay down and gave our belly a gentle shake and move around, to ensure the muscles are relaxed. (So you can use them more obviously and accessibly when you need to)

Afterwards, Charlotte said she had a surprise for me. Off we went on the highway to the valley.

Massage! Oh wow! Intense deep tissue massage with a funny little man who apologised in a funny little way everytime he thought it might be hurting me! It was amazing, and I felt like I had smoked something once the hour was up, such a daze I was in!

The Grove was the next stop, to meet Jessa. An absolutely gorgeous area that has been orchestrated so that you feel like you're walking into a big budget Italian movie. Fountains lit up, a carriage taking you from one end to the other, gorgeous restaurants and shops. And then the farmers market. Where we spent several hours wandering these markets, laden with food and happy looking people. I felt overcome with joy.

After the gals had Brazilian BBQ and I gobbled GadoGado salad, we shopped. Me considering some hilarious shorts and a skirt. I did not buy them. I've got acting classes and NYC to think about. But oh, I did consider.

Los Angeles is gorgeous at night, all lit up - I could see why they call it the city of dreams.

Off I tootle now, to pursue my dream. But first. I'll walk the dog (it'll be good for me too!)

LARAMIE, WYOMING 2011

An overnight road trip with Alexander Louis Handloff.

We embarked; setting off a little after 2pm. Me making ‘Yay’ and ‘ROADTRRRIIIPPP!’ noises as we left the condos then again at the Shop’n’Hop Gas station, Alex complaining because his theory was the road trip doesn’t start until you leave the town. I disagreed saying as soon as you leave with your bags, the fun has begun.

Grace Potter and the Nocturnals was on the speakers, the windows open and Alex and I laughing inanely and hysterically, interspersing with serious conversation, including the reason I wanted to actually go to Laramie.

The entire 2 months I have been in Steamboat Springs, Colorado, I have been asked what I was planning after the festival and every time I mentioned excitedly I was going to Laramie, Wyoming, inevitably I was met with a puzzled face and the question ‘Why?’

7 Years ago I was in a play called THE LARAMIE PROJECT. A verbatim account of an event in America’s history where, in 1998, a 21 year-old University of Wyoming student Matthew Shepard was brutally beaten, tied to a fence and left to die on the outskirts of Laramie. This play became, for want of a better word, iconic and propelled all around the world, all the way down to New Zealand to a 19 year old me, Kate McGill. This play marked the start of a process of learning what acting, performance and the purpose is all about for me.

At 21, I started my degree at the New Zealand Drama School, and more questions arose surrounding what makes a powerful performance and all the time, I came back to my shining moment where ego was pushed aside and I did the job of the text. Of the real persons words. I continue to pursue these curious questions.

Last year, I was fortunate enough to do an unpaid internship with TECTONIC THEATER PROJECT who wrote and produced THE LARAMIE PROJECT. When I arrived, they were about to start work on a tour that included TLP and a new work THE LARAMIE PROJECT: 10 YEARS LATER. They had four weeks to rehearse two plays, one of which still in development. Still finding its purpose.

From this experience, I was intrigued by the concept of how we mark an event in history, how history repeats, how history changes. And how we forget. Things very pertinent in my own culture, in my own home. New Zealand.

So, at 25 years old, I have decided to produce this play. The second one. The arguably more flawed of the two. Because I think it’s purpose stands strong and the challenge is to make it into ‘entertainment,’ into ‘art.’

That’s the short version.

Alex agreed to take me, Stuart agreed to lend the car. And I was very glad to not go by myself and not get too lost in the emotion of it.

I think that was important, in order for me to reflect perhaps more clearly than if I had soaked that up on my lonesome.

I was told before I left Steamboat to a) not tell people why I was there and b) not act like my usual overthetop, silly self because apparently people think a supporter of gay rights is gay and that’s not a safe thing to be in Laramie. I was shocked into speechlessness. Has anything changed? Was that true? The very thought made me sick.

We arrived at the Super 8 Motel around 5pm, met by a woman who appeared to have a large, brown, racoon-like wig affixed to her round bobbly head. (And I mean bobbly – her head moved around like she was one of those dog toys that sit in the back of cars.) She checked us in, I asked about the internet discount, and she asked us in a thick accent firstly ‘What make is yer vee-hick-il?’ and then ‘Are you in the army?’ Alex pulled out the charm about how is grand-daddy was and she gave us the Services Discount. Wow.

Off we traipsed into dingy little 406, dropped our stuff off and the first port of call was the University of Wyoming.

Laramie has just over 20,000 in its population and more than two thirds of that figure are students. The campus was lush, green, nice buildings with random homages to Dick and Lynn Cheney everywhere – he must’ve studied there. We looked in the peculiar library – brand new, devoid of books, smell and emotion. My father, the writer, would’ve hated it. We saw lots of statues of various Presidents and important people I hadn’t heard of. It was about an hour in I remembered there was a memorial bench for Matthew. Somewhere. It was only put in last year or the year before – I know this because of a scene in the second play.

Alex and I walked the campus zig-zagging across each other checking benches ‘What’s his name again, Kate?’

‘Matthew Shepard!’

‘This lady’s got a weird name, look!’

‘Alex, don’t mock the dead!’

‘I’m not mocking, I’m merely stating the obvious. She’s not here is she?!’

‘OK Alex.’

‘Sorry’

‘Oh! Is that it?’

‘Nope’

And on it went, until I saw the arts and sciences building and it all came back to me. Matt studied political science. He wanted to make a difference.

And there it was, in amongst 5 other benches, but the only one dedicated was his

‘MATTHEW WAYNE SHEPARD 1976-1998

BELOVED SON, FRIEND AND BROTHER

PEACE BE TO HIM AND ALL THOSE THAT SIT HERE
HE CONTINUES TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE’

I was struck with emotion then: For the injustice of the crime committed on this young boy, for all he’s done for gay rights in the United States – and at those words ‘He continues to make a difference’

On October 28th 2009 The Matthew Shepard Act was brought into law changing legislation on Hate Crimes in the United States of America. He continues to make a difference.

Alex asked me if I wanted a photo on the bench. I declined. I took a photo of it. But I didn’t want me on it.

It was back in the car that I suddenly thought of people who think they know celebrities because they see pictures of them all the time, and know random and specific facts about their lives. I realised I felt like I knew Matthew. Because I’ve ‘studied’ him. This thought both fascinated me and threw me into guilt. It’s not my job to grieve for him. That’s HIS family, HIS friends.

And though, I’ve never heard anyone say anything bad about him, he was a human. Humans are not perfect.

Martyrdom, celebrity, VIPS. I’m now interested in this ‘concept.’ But really me being me, I can’t throw away my ideals about Matthew Shepard. He’s given the world so much for me not to respect him.

Alex was a perfect gentleman, and managed to bring my emotion up by saying ‘Now I understand, I am really glad I came.’ The visit and seeing my reaction to it changed something in him, a little.

We walked down to where the sun was setting beautifully against the train tracks and circled the area for somewhere to eat. At Melissa’s, a vegetarian restaurant, we got platters of tapenade, Greek salad and burritos. An ageing cowboy offered to let me grope him. I got a photo.

A few games of billiards followed, me nearly beating Alex each time. Shooting really well, but just missing the 8. My competitiveness was at an all time high by the end.

Back at the Super 8 Motel, we watched TV, chatted and then conked out till the morn.

Alex asked me what I wanted to do. I said ‘a little walk round town, breakfast, then the site.’

The Prairie Rose was a downtrodden diner where Alex threw a burger into his mouth, I had eggs and hash brown – it was not nice. The coffee was welcomed.

The shops were charming. From the upmarket tourist store to the antiques shop, we had a great time ambling around – full as ticks.

Back at the Uni we played Frisbee, and I was pent up with nerves. I both wanted to go to the site, and not go. I did not want to be disrespectful. The site where he was left.

After an hour of throwing the friz around, we got into the rav and drove up to where Matthew Shepard was found dying.

The area is private property and surrounded by more houses than I expected. I didn’t go right up to it. A mix of fear for safety and fear of emotion. I could see the little rock shrine-like marking they had for him.

All those times I’ve recited Dennis Shepard’s speech, I imagined exactly what I saw. Sparse, quiet, lonely – looking out onto the dry, light caramel covered earth and bush, down onto Laramie below – so small and insignificant and across to the snow dusted mountains. All of Mr Shepard’s words flooded into my head and I cried. 'You Mr McKinney left him up there by himself. But he wasn't alone. He had the beautiful night sky and the same stars and moon we used to see through a telescope. Then he had the daylight and the sun to shine on him. And through it all he was breathing in the scent of the pines from the snowy range. He felt the wind. The ever present Wyoming wind. For the last time. He had one more friend with him. He had God. And I feel better knowing he wasn't alone.'

How can people be so hateful? You know they say death is all about the people who are left behind to remember. I wonder whether those killers, any killers, ever thought about the family? The friends? The lover? The children that would miss this person so much?

One of the preachers quoted in THE LARAMIE PROJECT said of Matthew while he was up on that fence ‘I hope that he had some time to reflect on his lifestyle.’ Meaning his homosexuality. You know I hope he had a moment to reflect too. But I hope he reflected on his life, that he had a moment to accept he had a good life and did good things in this world and would continue to in spirit. And I hope with all my heart that felt some peace up there in that expanse of land.

That was my last experience of Laramie. We drove away quietly, me looking out the window wanting to think. Alex accepting that.

We drove away sombre and respectful. Eventually, the music came back on, the mood lifted and I felt in one way or another I had honoured Matt.

Leaving Steamboat

Riding, Wheels Blazing

Down Mt Werner Road.

No Helmet, hair soaring

With a toothy grin defining my otherwise round face.

The sun:

Heating up my skin, coercing beads of sweat

Down my forehead

Past my shades

And onto my nose and mouth.

Salty.

The sun:

Gloriously present until the deep black cloud surfaces

Makes its way - Both Cheeky and Menacingly toward me

Uh-huh.

Another storm.

I hoon past the abandoned barn,

Sports Authority,

The Movie Theatre -

Gunning it to the bike track down by the river.

Here - my legs ache, my breathing's clean, I get ALL hopeful

And I pop out right by the hot springs.

You know. Those ones? Where I've bathed so many times?

Oh! Your town!

Your beautiful town!

Dusted with SkiTown posters, floral arrangements, clean bricks

And some of the best people I've met. Period.

You've given me home for two months.

Summer!

Steamboat.

Yampa curse.

I'll come home again.

After Laramie (Laramie to come...)

Back in McSteamy, Joy and Alan (Alex's Mom and Stepdad) had invited me for dinner. I was retrieved from Stuart's and went out in the Cadillac to no less ANOTHER game of Frisbee with Alex and Alan! I was doing GREAT apart from when I succeeded in getting the frisbee on the roof.... 5 times in a row. Lucy, Alex's 94 year old Grandmother cackled from the sidelines and mocked me senseless in her thick Minnesotan accent 'Ooh, the girl can't throw, the girl can't throw!!' Nothing said when the boys repeatedly knocked over the bird feeder. Just saying.

I leapt around, jumping for the high friz's and working up quite a sweat.

Alex's aunty Mary, a 7 foot tall woman, arrived with her brood and Joy took the ladies to Lucy's room to show us the most ridiculous hats she's bought for her son's wedding in September. Oh Lordy, they were like bowling hats with different shades of brown silk, flowers, and ruffles. So much fun. But then Joy is so much fun. However.... I wouldn't be wearing it to a wedding.

Because they're big meat eaters, they had made a feast of BBQ Elk for themselves, and got me a 'special' cut of salmon.

Even before it was cooked, I knew it was not the freshest fish from the sea. And the next day.... Well, let's just say I stayed home for a while.

However, it was a great night, we sang songs around the bonfire, drank wine and I stayed over - all and all a lovely evening.

Now, I'm gonna go back a bit.

Sunday night we had a lovely party to say thanks and too-roo to everyone. I got a bit choked up. It was at Anna's house-same as last year and I got lost in the memory of the absolutely most romantic night of my life which was at the same venue, same themed party 2010. It was a little intense, but I pulled myself together and we had a lovely night.

On Monday after everyone left, M'Tang and I were excited to be going horseriding with Gretchen. She picked us up in the arvo and we brushed two beautiful horses. Marshall and Cowboy. Marshall was the more cheeky of the two, and of course, he was the one I rode. These are horses that are not ridden often and Marshall was none too impressed to have my dainty self lumber on top of him. However, we bonded and soon I was trotting around the field, not a care in the world.

(I had been reading the Horse Whisperer at the time and was a tad trepidatious)

It was a lovely feeling, having the big strong beast carry me.

I demounted and off we went to Gretchen's where she had a kinda surprise. A ride on a speedboat! With her husband. And an ageing Scotsman. Ohhhh a little awkward when his friend asked how we knew Gretchen. Imagine 'Oh we hang out with the boyfriend she's keeping secret from everyone!'

It was actually fantastic. And I got to see a part of Steamboat I had not seen before. Very fast swishing by. So much fun.

Alex picked us up and me met Steve at Mazzola's for a glorious dinner (YUMMMY RISOTTO!) and champagne. Martine's last day and night was a goodie I think. We went home and played Circle of Death. Oh dear. Then all went to sleep.

I had one more day and night at the condos, and because of some severe period pain, got DVDs fruit, cornchips and avocado and chilled the expletive out. Twas very nice.

Right back again from Laramie.

On the Friday night, I did a 'Thank you dinner' and cooked Stuballs, Gretchen, Stu's sister and Alex a MEGA meal.

Entree: Caprese Salad, Famous Guac, French Cheese and Hot Bread.

Main: Stirfried couscous salad, Greek salad, Huge Californian Fish with chilli, coriander, lime and lemon

Dessert: Peach, Pomegranate and Chocolate Gelato.

I don't think I'd been so full in a year. There were only 5 people. What was I thinking?!!

Frisbee - of course - followed. And thank goodness. We could barely breathe.

Then I managed to persuade Alex to come out and meet Katie, Chris and Tiana with me - which I am so glad about because we had THE BEST TIME. I danced the night away - drank mojitos and met a whole bunch of lovely people!

The next day was lax - some reading in the sun then met Eva for lunch which ended up being an afternoon of fabulousness! We had Bananominom in the sun, then saw HORRIBLE BOSSES (Ok - a bit B Grade - some fab performances from Jen Aniston and Colin Farrell) then I biked down to Walmart to stock up on super cheap makeup (honestly a bottle of foundation is $40 at home - exactly the same $9.99 here!!) and went up to Susie Jackson's for a quick cookout. Did not stay for the food - just popped in to say cause it was Beth's birthday! Then TV and leftovers at Stuarts.

The day after (who knows when that was) I used my foot massage voucher from my birthday - OH MY is that gonna be a regular occurance or what?! I could just feel them kneading out my worries and my stress. After walking around as if I were stoned for about an hour afterward, I met Anna and Eva for yet another movie (I know but they are FREE!!!)

'Crazy, Stupid, Love' is the best film I've seen all year. Just wonderful. Charming. Dramatic but amusing. Super performances. (Go and see it Mum!) It made me think about 'Darryn Exists' which I have not seen yet. And I find it very stressful that I haven't-all these people judging me (good or bad regardless) just as I judge performances in EVERYTHING I see. At least if I'd seen it I could reflect on it with people!! I guess I was just doubting myself a little.

But just as I was getting silly, I got this message from Sophie Roberts, who does not dish out praise on a regular basis : oi you, i saw your movie in he film fest yesterday and you were BRILLIANT! I was much impressed with you my lovely one xxx, so there you go!

Yesterday, Alex took me on a hike - and by gum I nearly had an asthma attack. It was so worth it though. We got to the top and looked out over the vastness of the Rocky Mountains.

I am lucky to have these experiences. I am lucky to have these friends.

Back at Stuart's, I gussied up, Alex took me for dinner at his fave Mexican place then we went to Mahogany where everyone I know left in Steamboat came to have a drink and say too-roo for now. Like I said. Lucky.

The last of the evening was spent - you guessed it - Frisbee-ing, then listening to music, talking in Russian accents and hanging with Alex.

Right now, I am sitting surrounded by Texans, stinky food and a herd of flies at Denver Airport. And I still feel lucky.

continued.

I really enjoyed the last email from my Dad which said "Lv your diary and think it is indeed kooky at times, but also developing with words, nothing better than daily diary writing for that."
But, speaking of developing words, Dad has just launched www.kiwislang.org.nz which I encourage you all to have a hoon at.
Here now! Below is a random account of some events. With no dates probably because in heat like this, I do forget what happened when!
PAINTING - Susie Jackson invited me out to her studio to paint. Martine came with and we spent an afternoon drinking beer, picnic-ing out at the ranch and fiddling with oilpaints. Mine did not get finished. I just did the undercoat, and though I have photos of the area, I am annoyed with it and can't imagine finishing it. However, I will bring it home. At least as a momento.
It was such a joyous time though, we wore hideous oversized paint shirts, a bird shat on my head thrice so I then had to wear a hideous oversized hat and we listened to John Mayer, Springsteen and had a glorious time.
BOTANICALS - One Thursday afternoon after a particularly fullon day teaching, I had heard that there was a free Strings concert in the botanical gardens. It was only an hour long so I hooned there on the bicycle (which by the bye I LOVE! I am buying a bike when I get home) and got there before anyone else and soaked up Tchaikovsky and Rachmaninov silently surrounded by crowds of people also being quiet! Not a usual occurrence in a crowd that large.
It was the Meridian Quartet led by a gorgeous man from Paris. Eventually Tiana, Chris, Felix and Simon turned up and I joined them by the lake whilst the sun shined on down on us. My absolute favourite was when they played Tchaikovs Sleeping Beauty song - which in all fairness I only know from Disney's SB. Once upon a dream. I happily sung along too it and forgot myself for a moment.
Afterward, Chris Jackson took me and Felix out for lunch. Shouted us a fabulous lunch at Freshies, which is kinda iconic in this town and I had never been. What started out as a tiresome day turned out to be just idyllic.
VIETNAMESE AND ALEX - On the final Friday of teaching, my dear dear friend Alex had come back to Steamboat from his jaunts overseas in France and Stuart shouted us all inc Alex a Vietnamese lunch. It was like it hadn't been a year! We were back taking the mickey out of each other and just having a super fun time. He is very much like family, Alex. Amusing, intelligent, stubborn. We've pretty much been inseparable ever since. That night we had mojitos with Adam, Mikey and Mikey's friend. Talk about deja vu.
HAIL STORM - Felix and I had a bike date on one of the hottest days here. We did a little shop and then planned to bike home. However the sky not far away had turned the darkest shade of black I've ever seen. I told Felix I was gonna wait for the bus. He braved it. And lo and behold, as my bus pulled up behind him, hail like golf balls fell from the sky. Some nice bugger hauled him into his pickup truck and drove him home while I stayed on the bus for an extra hour. It was the most intense storm I've been in. Even more than I when I almost got hit by lightning.
SHE'S COME UNDONE - Felix gave me THE MOST depressing book for my birthday. I can't even begin to convey how sad and crap the protagonists life was! It went from childhood rape, to hideous obesity, to a mental institution to lying about her life and getting married to an abusive man who forced her to have an abortion then insane again. And it didn't really get any better!!! I asked him why he got it for me. He looked at me blankly and said 'it's a really good book!' Well yes. Very well written, but I'm glad I read it after EAT PRAY LOVE!
PERF AT LIBRARY - Our 2nd to last show of MUCH ADO was at Bud Werner and the most awkward stage I've ever performed on! Thin and long and we couldn't really follow any of the limited blocking we had. So I improvised and in terms of working on spacial dynamic, I owned it! But I got very caught up in the emotion of it and got very loose I thought with the Kill Claudio scene. It was more between me and Adam than us and the audience. It reminded me of something Mam said to me ages and ages ago: 'It is much more powerful watching someone trying NOT to cry' and so true.
KATIE WEST - is back and as outrageous as ever. I am gonna stay with her for a day or two in NYC and I am looking forward to it.
GUNS - Though Morally opposed, I went off with the Sheriff (coincidentally a Kiwi!) and the rest of the crew. And we shot some guns! Mag 44. Laser ones. Girly pistols. Cop guns. And once I got over the initial shakes, I was actually very good at it, and it was kinda fun. Also, a good skill to have.
FINAL MUCH ADO - Working on endurance, connection and listening.
I 'discover' during fire speech.

The final show was fantastic, I finally nailed the 'What fire is in mine ears' speech. I really worked the action of I DISCOVER. And funnily enough, the last show was the only one that didn't sprout tears to my eyes. Which I'm fine with. I was working at being specific and I feel strongly that I was, so, like the rant I had earlier, crying does not matter. The connection between space, audience, fellow actors is much more important. Very satisfied.

Civilisation was well, in retrospect, not a show I felt had a lot of backbone by the end. We should have fought - WAIT I should have fought for a better show. Each scene was not specific to a place. The character's were not connected with each other. And though it was fun and entertaining, I believe it did not hit the mark as it should've. We were lazy.

As I write the schema for THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE - inspired by Civilisation and the purpose of cultural reflection - I am making choices based on what asks questions of myself and the audience. Ok, it is not a polished piece. YET. And our development season left something (a story) to be desired but I feel more confident in even pitching the thing!

It's been a while since I wrote

The days are getting both shorter and hotter.

The storms - after reaching a pinnacle of ridiculous unpredictability - have stopped. And now our shows are about to as well. It's been a stress for all wondering if we are gonna get rained out, whether Stuart's booked a backup place. Whether we have a show!?! But now the shows are over. I am the only kiwi left in the boat. And that is fine. Reflection time.

So I'm gonna attempt to go in order. I may jump around. Do forgive me. I will note things out of my diary...

July 9th - Have opened both shows. Strangely fared better in Much Ado than in Civilisation. I expected it the other way around because of my slightly awkward Shakespeare last year. I just realised I'm not the star attraction in Civ. but do have the potential to be in Much Ado. It is my onus to keep fine tuning. I cannot rely on the director for that as he is now focussing on performing one of the leads. Long story. But Leonato aka Doug quit under tiring circumstances.

Anyway, my focus is on being present and generous as we have a bunch of fresh actors who need support. I felt such great freedom tonight in Much Ado - started to work with the audience which I know is one of my gifts - being able to be connected with a group in a comic sense - the tougher thing is always being that connected when I am being more erm, simple and truthful

I guess would be the words.

July 11th - Why oh why did I insist on wearing highwaisted shorts for the Shakespeare? Now, I know that period wise, they are great. But not only do they hook to areas that one wouldn't like hooked during performance (let alone physical comedy) but they are boudaciously unflattering! And hideous pics on facebook! Curse you facebook! 2nd Civ show tonight - really started working the relationship with the audience (as Shakes has taught me yet again. Good ol' Willy!)

This is something I want to harness the rest of the season. It is how I can contribute performatively to the show. It is about 'Selling it' and choosing the moments.

Been reading EAT PRAY LOVE which I do love! Phrase of the week 'Master Your Thinking'

I like to be in control but the only thing I need to control is my mind. My choices. Love, cravings, practice, routines and consumption should be in tune with my spirit.

July 12th - It's 1/2 way into 2011 and I'm reading EAT PRAY LOVE and contemplating Buddhism. As you do. I like the concept of a practice that settles the mind into being more focussed, more clear.

We are doing the kids theatre workshops and all of a sudden I've realised the adventure in Steamboat is almost over and that it may well be the last festival I am part of. Financially it's too debilitating and I am missing out on auditioning back home. And, of course, other things too. But I'd love to actually work here and live here and I would need a visa. So, I can't see it happening. However, Adam and I were thinking of doing a two hander in the winter which would see us here for 2 weeks. Mmm. Tempting.

With this new found realisation I've been thinking about what I want back home. What I want to achieve this year. I have made a list. At the bottom of this list reads: Inner peace and a spot of financial stability. Ha!

July 13th - Have just finished EAT PRAY LOVE - which I realised I did not want to like. Thought (from experience with film) that my skepticism wouldn't hold me through the book. It's taught me a little about compassion and about listening to God - whatever that, he, she, it may be. Listening to myself and to beauty. Which is life. At a particularly poignant part near the end of the book I glanced up from my body-stamped spot in the grass, lying diagonally next to my bike and surrounded by friends and saw the sun shooting through the trees and cotton spilling through the air delicately lit, like summer snowflakes and in the following order (most peculiar I felt) I imagined: snow, my love's face, myself lying next to him, him reaching for my hand, me smiling at the sky and a pregnant belly. What does that mean?!! I thought I put that guy to rest in my heart?! He's not even here this year!! However, beautifully filmic images, and I didn't feel sad or anything. Just sort of contented and hopeful.

So, I guess I'm a little more than grateful to Liz Gilbert and her book. Sorry Julia Roberts, but it wasn't done justice.

15th July - Ass and legs on fire. Have been riding a bike everywhere. Which is great! But also tiring and energising simultaneously! Have been teaching kids with Simon - who I adore! so joyous, goofy, intelligent and caring. Had a salad and bellini lunch afterwards with M'Tang and Adam, read in the park, then went on a sore ass inducing epic ride home in the sun. Now am on bus on way to free concert, with an old man who's harping on about 'friends with benefits' Ummm DUDE! You're on the bus!! Yesterday at the supermarket, a morbidly obese 50 year old with hideous and expensive clothes offered to buy me a Starbucks coffee. Hilarious.

16th July - Our show on Wednesday was mad - first Stu was a bit late and forgot the tree, then the pace was farrrked, then a storm came through about half way into it and we ended up having to relocate to the depot. With half the audience in tow. It actually resulted in a much better performance - I think perhaps something to do with us all being on equal ground, having a shared experience etc. I realised I wasn't working on ANYTHING in the first part of the show - thus I got time to reset and I was much more pleased with the result in a more connect, multilayered performance. So much more satisfying. I don't know why I thought I could get away with just winging it. It makes me so much more aware if I choose to focus on a question or an area of development. So tonight up at Spring Creek, I'm gonna make spacial dynamic a focus. I'm excited.

Last night the free concert was Grace Potter and the Nocturnals. I'd never heard of them. But boy, were they fabulous. I have never have seen rock musicians havings such a super time on stage. I did the groupie thing and bought a CD and a T'Shirt. She is one of the best live singers I've had the pleasure to hear, see, dance to

July 17th - very tired today Gammy. Gonna make my mission connection and specificity. Connection to my actions. LATER...

After she arrived last night, Charlotte and I went up the gorgeous Gondolas and had dinner at Hazies. What a 3 course scrumptious meal. Beet salad. Divine fish. NZ wine. And dessert we saved for later. The view was stunning and I just loved it.

July 18th - After a nearly rained out show on Sat night (Civ which I did some terrifically naughty improv) we got in the cars and headed to Denver. Charlotte and I drove with Stu so they could chat about the future on the fest. It made me realise how uninformed, and unclear he is on his own producing and made me really want to help. When we finally got to Denver, disaster ensued. We got given a key to our hotel room in the beautiful Oxford Hotel (Patty and I had had Apple Martinis - Yum!) When we opened it, a man's voice shouted 'WRONG ROOM!' Giggling, all us gals headed back down, thinking they'd given us the wrong room number. (cont'd 20something of July) No no no no no! They had over booked. A flash as town car was sent and off we went to the Hyatt Grand. Dionjoy, our driver was amused to have a bevy of gals from the world in his car.

No no no no no no no. Wrong hotel. I was getting pissed. I wanted to hit the town! And I wanted a room to lay my head! Dionjoy arrived again and off we went to the Hyatt Regency. Also full. I got snippy and spent half an hour getting us not one but two rooms. And both free. I have to say I channelled my mother.

The boys, having left me in a rage, buggered off - so me, Charlotte and Martine got a bottle of bubbles at a truly crap bar, were then picked up by Patty, taken back to the other hotel. Raided their minibar. Then went home to sleep.

The next day - we traipsed around town after a lovely brekkie. I don't think I'd like to live in Denver. It's pretty. But also pretty uninteresting! Off to the GORGEOUS botanical gardens for 2 shows. Both Much Ado. The first space was small, hard to do same blocking in. And we had a tiny audience. I had fun and learnt about adjusting. Then the 2nd. You couldn't ask for two more different performances! A beautiful huge marquee tent. Over 300 people and the best show yet! We were all so focused. Having fun. Playing out to the audience. Just superb. I don't even know how I can describe how intrinsically we were connected. So I'll just say that. Really very cool.

OK PART TWO TO COME SOONER THAN LATER! xx

Continued.....

Gonna work backwards....

We've become obsessed with this thing called Auto tune the news (look up on You tube and make sure you watch the original video as well) it's hilarious - essentially this group called Schmolo finds clips on net usually from the news of people saying unusual, asinine or ridiculous things and they autotune them into a song. Hours of entertainment. The below link is a woman on a blog who gets upset over her catloving!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=sP4NMoJcFd4

We've had quite a week and a half. 3 rehearsals a day. Going from Devised to Shakes to Devised. And, needless to say we are all exhausted and the workload has meant we have not been as productive as we coulda been. I had a wee realisation last night that it is OK for these to be works in progress. We are testing out some things.

We opened Civilisation last night and we hadn't done a run of the whole show with a full cast so it was energised with a smidge of anxiety. I was working on my character journeys and supporting the rest of the cast. There was a really strong sense of listening to each other because we had to be able to bail each other out if we needed too. We had a fecken' hard day yesterday - four thunderstorms and we realised we'd have to perform inside. It was an intimate audience but a lovely one. Personally, I'm glad we battled through it.

Tonight, we open Much Ado. And I again am concentrating on character physicality, impulses and listening. I realised I've been completely self focussed and I need to make sure the play is as cohesive as possible. Nothing better than feeling like a generous actor and sharing the stage with people.

Last Friday, Martine and I went to the Old Town Pub and danced the night away - I felt truuuuly crapulous on Saturday morning. It wasn't because of drinking too much - it was the week and the stress. We had a very productive rehearsal out in the beautiful open space at Perry Mansfield where Steve works, then planned to go home to have a wee rest before the Rodeo that night. However I was stupid, driving my bike, I decided to do some grocery shopping, and then couldn't fit my shopping, bike and self on the bus and had to balance it all! In the heat! On a bike! Up a mountain! I fell over and had to get dear Adam to come down and help me - we laughed all the way home! Only had about half an hour to 'rest' before the rodeo.

I have mixed feelings about the Rodeo. On one hand - a cultural experience that I'm glad I had. Firstly for the small enjoyment and 2ndly for the offensive behaviour. Food for thought. Let me clarify:

Enjoyment - A ridiculous rodeo clown that did a lot of cheesy jokes and tricks with horses and dogs. The hundreds of little kids running after a tiny bull was the cutest thing. BUT - and here's where the offense comes in - I don't know how anyone can validate the treatment of animals. Tying up bulls and horses by the balls so they buck? Chasing a bull with a horse, trying to loop a rope around it, take it down then tie its legs up for 10 seconds - and in the case of one guy - accidently getting the bull by the throat and strangling it. HORRIFIC.

We were all feeling a smidge strange after that and wanted to go home - but it was Steve's bday

and we headed to the Boathouse Pub to toast him. SO VERY HAPPY WE DID THAT!

Because there was the most fabulous blues gig on, playing were the Rocking Jake Band http://www.rockinjake.com/, whose groupies consisted of old cowboys having the time of their life. And I did too - I started the dancing and boy, did I dance. It was the most fun I've had in the longest time. Pure joy. And I didn't give a rats what anyone thought. And yes, everyone joined in on the action. What a great time! The others wanted to go to Sunpies and hit the razzle after but Simon and I weren't keen so we got sidewalk sausages (me a veggie dog) and taxied home. Blissful sleep and then SUNDAY!

Another bday! Felix! I had ventured to the dollar store (bike fiasco) and got him a lot of American treats and after a rehearsal we had a gorgeous potluck grill - Susie Jackson brought over bean caviar, we had a lovely cake made by Martine, and it was a lovely night! But we stayed up farrrr too late.

Monday was 4th of July and it woulda been better to not have felt like arse, but que sera sera, we headed down to the pancake brekkie at 8am - then dressed in 40s garb then got on the float singing Toi Whakaari E!, Hey, Nonny Nonny and This Land is Your Land. It was mercifully short but really fun nonetheless. Americans love America big time.

A really great sleep after a Shakespeare rehearsal and we headed to Susie's for a(nother) grill and down to her gorgeous art gallery for the fireworks. I met some lovely friends of hers - a couple who were most likely having their last 4th of July together - the lady Beth, has a horrible cancer and most likely will pass soon. It was quite special to be watching the fireworks with them. And in amidst the magical surroundings, I was suddenly overcome with hope, joy and wonder for life. It was rather unexpected and strange - especially as I was near this couple who were having a different sort of experience. But I slept sound that night.

So, then we come to my birthday. I wont drone on about it. But Felix and I had brekkie (which, subsequently he got food poisoning from... yerk) and he gave me a book and sunnies. Then the onslaught of 3 rehearsals. Which were fine. You know... Anyway, Patty - one of the Galsco board members - took me and Adam out for lunch and bought me a foot reflexology voucher - we finished the 3rd a little early 915 - and headed down to Mambo Italianos - where a lovely dinner and red wine awaited. I ate myself into a stupor. But all and all a lovely night.

I'm just gonna leave you with one more thing.

This is from my wonderful Dad. Too good for just my eyes...

Hi Kate

Happiest birthday, my dear.

‘You’re in my heart

You’re in my soul

You’re in my memories

As I grow old.’

Rod Stewart

Marmalade Memories

1. The External

This morning I have made a batch of marmalade, a calming activity --

as I wrote in my Bun Rabbit food memoirs.

Yesterday I harvested five of Robyn’s big and half-green grapefruit

Perfect for the jam.

I chopped and soaked in water overnight.

This morning, a still, chill winter’s day,

I boiled the fruit and water for 20 minutes,

As indicated by the Weekend Gardener recipe.

Added sugar and boiled another 30 minutes, stirring to stop burning.

I followed religiously the hints, and reminded myself not to leave it for a second.

I tested for setting several times, and voila, it set.

I had the jars and lids sitting in hot water.

I poured the golden jam into the jars,

Sealed them, wiped them down to remove dribble,

Stepped back and admired a gorgeous seven jars of marmalade

Sitting on the stainless steel sink. Success.

2. The Internal

Staring into the bubbling golden grapefruit for 20 plus 30

My mind roamed around my life between

My mother and my daughter.

The computer man asked me if I wanted Skype

And I do, but I need a camera,

I need Skype to see you in Colorado

On your birthday.

I love your sonnets on your blog.

Mum used to hum over her marmalade making,

Breaking into a cracked voice falsetto

Rendition of Somewhere Over the Rainbow.

I loved the worn wooden jam-stirring spoon

That seemed such an extension of Mum’s beating arm.

I loved squeezing Mum’s arm further up

Above the elbow, still soft.

Her forearm was steel muscle

From beating a million cake mixes

And bestowing the gluggy beater

On her two hovering sons to wrestle for ecstatic licking.

Mike and me.

Netty on the phone asked how Michael was.

I said he patted my hand last time I saw him,

Much the way Dad reassuringly patted Mum’s

When she was agitato.

His memories are locked away now.

The Intimacy column in the DomPost today

Asked and answered questions on happiness.

My happiness was stirring marmalade

And thinking of Mum making batches of it,

Of my daughter in Colorado

Writing sonnets and planning the Laramie Incident

For her production back home.

I miss you both so much.

My eyes fill with tears

Of happiness.

Have a happy birthday and have a safe trip home.

All my love.

DKDadxxx