writing, making.

Hallo little blog.
Shitty little mood I'm in, due to lack of sleep and a desire to be naughty.
I've been invited to a BBQ tonight at a family members house. Unfortunately that Fam Mem is treating another more important Fam Mem with absolute contempt. I don't think I can trust myself not to have a go at said first Fam Mem so I'm opting out of going. However, the problem lies in leaving my person unsupported. Am I being selfish? I do want to go to the festival tent, and I do want to have some alone time tonight. I need to blob and not talk. Yes, selfish it is. But by the same token, I wont be there to cause trouble. So, I'm justifying it. That's what's happening here.

I've decided I'm gonna start posting bits of writing on the blog which makes me nervous, cause it's on the internet. But then again, I'm be-moaning a lot of things on here, what will really be picked up?
I guess I copyright everything on here, ya.

Am thinking a lot about my show, who else I can get involved. And also, using this blog to become clearer on what I actually want to do.

VOCATION (working title) is at this moment a piece of verbatim theatre about choices. How we make decisions on jobs, career and why.
I'm interested in it because I think dreams and regrets sometimes go hand in hand. I also love people. I'm curious in their logic.
What is my logic to be an actor? It's difficult because I know I'm not always amazing, but I believe in myself enough to keep going. I know it's a hard life. My Mum does it. She's had her ups and downs. Do I want to be like my mother? No, I don't think so. I very much respect her, think her work is quality. But I also recognise we are very different, and I suspect she wanted a different version of things than I do at the same age.
So, back to the show. How do I ask questions that are open ended? That excite people, make them trust and want to talk to me.
How do I facilitate a discussion that enables people to share their intimate stories?
It's difficult. But I'm excited about doing it.

My instinct is to get people in their own environment, have a series of opening questions that allow them to be relaxed, and then a series of topics to cover.
But largely have a conversational style because I do not want to orchestrate the play, I want to let the people inform what happens with the structure. THAT IS SCARY. But, it makes it interesting and it will really test me in the editing process. I guess the more I do it, the clearer I'll get about my process.

Stay tuned.

Here's Anna Deavere Smith who is an inspiration to me.