4th, Birthday, shows and yeessss

Imagine Courtenay Place, filled each side and everyone in red, white and blue. There is a woman crying on the street as the National Anthem plays. She is overwhelmed with patriotism.

Little kids screaming out 'I love my country!'

A parade starts, firstly officials, police men and women, then the sheriff, then the local mayor. Popsicles are handed out. And sweets. Everyone is smiling, 'Happy 4th!' is the common phrase.

Could you do it? I was completely bamboozled by the unity of community. By the shared love of all things US. And the most obvious expectations were met and more...

I got well into it, a two dollar t'shirt was bought from WalMart with a flag across the chest. R, W and B fake flowers donned my up-do. I had red lipstick and was more than a little grinning. I think I'll marry someone here, as I feel quite Yank-ish.

We Kiwis were on the back of the local orchestras truck, taking turns at our songs 'Hope for a Generation' and 'This Land is your Land' in between brass band. We tied for first place in the float judging. And just before we went past the judges, over the loud speakers came 'And that was the local army contingent folks. (Something, something we couldn't hear, and then...) It is our God given right to be in the Middle East.' Ummm.... No. It's not actually. That's the part I don't like. And it's a pretty big wakeup isn't it. It's not all fun and flags.

A BBQ was then called forth at our whare. Gorgeous guac, veggie burgers, piles of meat, and my special garlic mushrooms. Because we had got up at the crack of dawn to go to the community pancake breakfast (FREAKING YUM!)

Anyway, cutting to it. I got in a vile, tired disposition and tried to have a wee kip. But there was no having any of that as Em, Lord love her, was about. And she has the most resonant voice of anyone I know. LOUD.

So, then to the fireworks and they were lovely. Amy, Asa's mate, invited us to a function on top of a roof and about 3 places on the mountain top let off a stream of - you guessed it - red, white and blue fireworks. Was pretty special actually... though Wellington is much more creative....

The night ended at Sunpies. And we went home, not completely hideous. As production week took over.

Although, we did go to Double Z's the next day, and Adam, who's vegetarian was propelled into Meatdom by his hangover. Easily the worst and best food I've ever eaten if you know what I mean. BBQ meaty, cheesy, fatty face delight. Only hanus American food I'm quite smitten with.

Rehearsals for the week were of the crunchtime variety. COLONISATION was not finished. Things kept changing and it was stressful. I was terrified about playing 3 characters as I thought, 'I don't think I'm physically versatile enough to carry this off.' But I really worked hard at making each character's centre very different, where they sent their energy.

With Shakespeare, I was overcome with how much I love it and respect the form it is written in. So I didn't want to F it up. Understandably. And for some reason there was one para that always left my head. Always. I was beside myself thinking I would stuff it up if I for some reason didn't say it in performance. As one does... Totally ridonkulous fears.

And in the midst of all this, I had my 25th birthday, which means I'm meant to be a bit more adult... right? Emma took me out on my NZ birthday. She bought me creams for my horociously cracked feet, nailpolish and we had a Mexican feast. My facebook page was overflowing with well wishes on the NZ day too, was very warming. I might upload them to this site just so my ego can be charged when it needs some love!!!

And on the US version, Ashlee, our director got a gorgeous cake for moi, with blue icing spelling out my name. Cuuuute. I was shouted lunch then Brony gave me a Hello Kitty keychain (Willow, you know what that means!!) and heaps of choccies and we wombled off to rehearsal for COLONISATION (which was a good day. Challenging but not vile) followed by $3 mojitos. I was in fabulous spirits. So I got gussied up in my Jackie O - Chanel frock and we went to Mambo Italiano, which I adore. All the people I've met here came along, wine was poured and food was most definitely ate and they all pooled their cash to shout me the whole evening - including at the Powder Room later on. I felt most loved.

Em, Kurtis, Alex, Mikey, Ian, Adam and I danced up a storm and I did feel mildly rugged the next day. But, it was well worth it.

What, what, what!

Saturday we opened Midsummers to about 250-300 people in fart park (otherwise called Yampa Valley Park, but Rotorua-esq) and I was so nervous to begin with, I couldn't figure out why, just self expectations I think. But I gave myself a pep talk after the first scene (which was fine, just not totally tight or specific) and reminded myself that I want to work on connecting with the audience as well as actors and surroundings. We were outside and almost playing in the round (quite accidentally!) So I charged ahead, with that intention and also of listening and keeping afresh. Making each moment different from every other time before. There is a definite inclination with me to say Shakespeare in the same pattern each time because of my obsession with the iambic. But, really, Shakespeare would not have been interested in boring work. Plays he wrote were often performed in between an hour and a hour and a half. And we faff around for 3 trying to make his words be heard. None of that. Clarity and precision yes. But intention and enjoyment are paramount for ANYTHING!

In the end it was a very good show. I was pleased with my work and my ability to work throughout the show. Keep alive my questions around the play and the production whilst having a great time and relaxing into slackish submission. I hate that!

The next day was mega action confronting. First rehearsal in the space for COLONISATION and some people still didn't have their lines down and we all didn't know what scene came where. I have 3 scenes as Winifred which are achingly similar (in my opinion) and I get them so confused. What's more I was terrified people wouldn't associate with the material. Very British humour with New Zealand content. Much?!

WE were there from 9 but had a break before the show, Brony, Tane and I went down to the art in the park markets and I was very well behaved and didn't buy anything bar a Greek salad for dinner. I was so tempted by a $25 cowboy hat but in the end, would I really wear it back home? Probs not.

A 20 minute snooze and off I went to do the show. A frightening moment for everyone was when it rained. We had got the piano outside that day and the weather was not looking promising.

Thanks be, because the sun came out and we were away. I was not at all nervous this show. Which is bizarre, as we were underprepared really. And the intention was all on specificity of the characters and having fun. Also stealing the scene too! The element of play was very alive in the whole show and it was a great success! The challenge now is to keep all those elements sparking and really take ahold of the story - we have a week until we perform again, so there is room for improvement. Oh yes.

Sunpies again and I am well pleased to say that a very attractive man I'm rather fond of told me I was beautiful. And he'd even seen me in the show, where I don't always look it (Ethel the stumpy whore is not at all a good look. More chins than a....) So, there you go.

A rather engaged week. Mustn't get carried away.

Bisoux xxx

4th of July celebrations

Photo spectacular... DENVER

What I wrote for the funeral

Because I couldn't be at my Godmother's funeral, I wrote a little something for her and for Molly. It wasn't read, but I meant it, so here it is.

"Kathy O'Shea, for me, was the height of style and the epitome of generosity. I will forever remember dancing to Queen with you in London, playing with your extremely long hair as a child, being in awe of your impeccably manicured fingernails, being amazed at your aptitude for listening. You have inspired so many people, including myself. You have done so many things in this life of yours, and the best to you, I know, was creating such a wonderful, talented, intelligent daughter who is just as strong as you are. Kathy - wahine toa, strong woman - was a fighter of the utmost spirit. She fought many battles and won many wars. It is a privilege to have you as my Godmother and to be named after you. So Rest in Peace clever lady. Your spirit lives on in your daughter and in us. Arohanui. Big love. 'A thing of beauty is a joy for ever: Its loveliness increases; it will never Pass into nothingness; but still will keep A bower quiet for us, and a sleep Full of sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing.' JOHN KEATS"

Denver poem

Pianos filled streets.

An old man plays sweet, childlike music with his baseball shirt dirty, weather beaten.

I watched him and wept.

In the middle of the road this piano is there for performance

But this man is there for music.

In fact, I think he'd rather I didn't watch him as his fingers glide the piano, and his warbling voice keeps up - almost - with the lyrics.

Streets filled pianos.

I'll leave him to play. Innocence. Old man.

Crunchtime and Independence day

We are a week out from performing. Finally we have a script for COLONISATION... Oh the nature of devising.

It is going to be a challenge. It is a challenge - what am I saying? I have 3 characters - all very fun, but to make them diverse and specific... you know, I think as New Zealand actors we aren't - in general - very specific. There is a lack of craft or something. We make up for it in other areas. But, I feel the pressure of performing to an American audience and being clear in what we say through performance and writing.

Adam Donald - who's directing - has grown so much as an artist, but it is difficult to get him to see things from another point of view somethings. He is very stubborn. Sometimes good, sometimes I want to get all up in his grill. It is always interesting working with friends for the first time, in what you learn about them in 'another' area and what surprises you. I have been very surprised. I imagine him directing at the RSC one day.

The Shakespeare rehearsals have been outside most of this week, which has been two steps backwards. Projecting outside (in front of a highway in one 'venue') while desperately trying to stay connected and in the moment, is friggin hard. I feel like the biggest over actor in the world.

Though, I have been having tremendous fun playing Robin Starveling, who has all but three lines. I've made him into an intoxicated, smoking South African, who occasionally pipes up with random sentences... not Shakespeare's... Must try not to corpse at self. Not very professional.

In the last week, I have been approached to direct two very different things. I'm not sure about this. I am flattered, and interested in the projects. But do I look at it as growth for me as an artist or what? I probably should, but I am stubbornly thinking 'acting, acting, acting' - Well, when there is no acting work for me, it's a bit redundant, isn't it?

Have been looking online at jobs in UK. Ushering jobs at Young and Old Vic theatres... Could be a go-er. But the hoopla around getting a visa - the only way I could do it is if I get a passport.

This week has been filled with the tummy bug, the only eventful thing - apart from rehearsal - was seeing a brilliant band called Trampled by Turtles from Minnesota. They were the ultimate hick, country band. The first guy on stage, in his overalls and cowboy hat, looked like he was about to give birth and milk a cow at the same time. Violins, guitars, banjoes, all going at such high speed that after every song, they all needed to change strings. Farrrrrk it was amazing.

Tomorrow begins the 4th of July celebrations - we are having pancake breakfast at 7am, then going on a parade float and singing kiwi songs, then going to the rodeo and fireworks and BBQing. Sounds like a great schedule. Let's hope all our stomachs don't have conniptions.

I am going to learn lines, rehearse our parade songs, then maybe go to the gym.

Delight of delight.

Denverino

I've had such a nice day today, especially cause I wasn't vom-ing and I saw a real, true life cowboy strutting (well his horse was strutting) down the street. Coool.

And let me explain and get to the vom-ing.

Friday proved interesting, in that, I got in a grump, and what's more skinned my knees and hands really badly when i attempted to go into town with friends. I didn't really feel like it, I just didn't want to be the one left behind. Anyway, very painful and I had a big wah and then got iced applied to me by an attractive (and when I say attractive I mean hollly moley furlong, damnnn), nice American boy - I know what you're thinking but no, alas, he has girlfriend and I am not a bitch... I realllly wish I was. But I'm not. Anyway, it did make me feel better.

My friends had a fantastic night out, so that was not helping the feel better offers, but I got over myself and was really very thankful I didn't have to sit in a car for 3 1/2 hours to Denver on 2 hours sleep and the world's worst hangover.

So, then the trip to Denver was v nice. Em and I went with the pilot who was gonna take us to Vegas. He was so polite, generous, lovely and shouted us petrol, lunch, organised a v expensive hotel for ridiculously cheap for all of us (Brony, Alex, Tane, Adam as well) and then after one drink turned into a spazmunter. Alcy. Ohhh dear. I spent the first part of the night getting him to stop leching on to me and sometimes Emma, and to get him to stop being obnoxious, homophobic, an asshole to random people. Anyway, Emma and I after some shopping - oh, unfortunately Denver has v cheap and cool fashions, so we couldn't help ourselves, but I must say were very restrained and as we hadn't spent as much during the week, it was justified...

The evening was great (after we ran away from everyone - a bit mean, but entirely necessary)

We caught a human horse (man on bike with buggy) downtown and went under all these fabulous fairy lights in the street.

Denver is beautiful, the architecture just lovely and for a city that is quite young (only a little over 100 years since it was a mining town) it has a rich history to it which is present in it's art and structures.

Emma and I ended up krumping with beautiful, well off black men in a club - coulda been rap stars, who knows! And then finishing off the night with 3am movies in the hotel, Ben and Jerry's ice cream and mustard. Who said this wasn't educational??!

The next day was spent milling around Denver and taking in sights. Loverly, then back to Steamy, and oh dear, the drive was horocious as I had - and here it comes - the beginnings of a tummy bug which everyone then got.

I lay starfished on the floor most of Monday. Was actually quite nice to relax and time away from the fold, bit of sun. Niiice.